Sigh

I'm in one of those moods again, the ones where I feel like I'm so done trying to lose weight. We're closing in on 2 1/2 years, I've lost 285 lbs, I feel and look great (not perfect). I'm healthy, a million times happier and have done many of the things I wanted to do "when I lost all the weight". I don't know why I get in these moods, but I think because well, it's been 2 1/2 years, shouldn't I be maintaining? I don't want to diet anymore. All I want to do is just focus on other things besides tracking weight loss. I want to drink my shake in the morning, my shake at night, take my supplements and live my life. 199 and 216 would be nice, but I'm not sure I want to do the work. This morning I weigh like 5 lbs over my lowest and the jeans I bought 6 weeks ago are too big now. It seems I can slowly shrink with little effort. My only problems arise when I don't get my protein in. When that happens, I gain a lot of water weight and as soon as I start getting it in, the weight falls off past my lowest previous weight. I just want to eat like a normal person, play tennis 2-3 times a week and focus on other stuff. I'm not sure 199 or 216 is what I truly want, it's chasing numbers. It would be nice to say I lost 300 lbs and it would be so awesome to see onderland, but maybe I worry about that stuff when it comes to start seriously thinking about plastics. I have so much excess skin that if I had it all removed, I'd easily be the size AND weight that I'd want to end up at. I figure ramping up to plastics would mean several months of getting into the best shape possible, maybe that's when I worry about losing those last 20 lbs or so.

I don't know. Maybe it's time to start really focusing on maintenance instead of weight loss and mostly focusing on other parts of my life. If I just hit my minimums of 150g of protein, 64 oz of sugar free fluid, all my supplements every day plus 2-3 days of tennis a week, then I'm good. I know I'll never be normal, that's what I signed up for when I had this surgery, but I want to be post-DS normal.

I did good, y'know. Not too shabby. Maybe it's time to really start enjoying the success.