06 October 2007

Guy, part III

Weight this morning: 287.4 lbs.

Today I am really grateful for the relationship I have with my mom. I look at the relationship with BP and her daughter and it's sad. They both operate in the defensive and are quick to anger and never give each other the benefit of the doubt. Often I find myself playing mediator and I know I can't nor do I want to solve their issues for them, but I do know that the yelling and antagonizing is unnecessary, hell that would save about 90% of their aggravation, but they must like getting all crazy on each other. They keep doing it and don't bother to try to change. Oh well.

I took a set of progress photos in my birthday suit this morning. A few observations: I look horrible naked BUT much better than before. The best word to describe how I look now vs. before is deflated. I still have a good bit on weight in my thighs that I really want to reduce. My top half is looking okay, but the bottom half definitely needs more work. With the side views, the change is much more dramatic than the front/back views. It looks like I've been reduced in 1/2. The front/back views, however, do show that I've acquired a waist! I'm not completely mortified, what's interesting is that I do feel a sense of "hmmm, there is a lot of work to be done". I totally see where the next 60-100 lbs are coming from. So now, I think I've changed my mind, yet again. I think I am going to shoot for sub-200 lbs. If I had never started at 516, and say started this journey at 350 lbs, I don't think I would even be entertaining setting my goal at anything over 200 lbs. Why should I do that now? Yep, I'm shooting for 195 lbs. That's firmly sub-200 and will give me plenty of wiggle room after plastics. I really want most of the weight I lose from plastics to be skin, not fat with some skin on the side. I want to leave the land of the "plus size clothes". I want to be normal. I want people to look at me (fully clothed) and never know I was super morbidly obese. By the way, my BMI is a funky fresh 40.7! Down from 72.1! Pretty damn cool!

Anyway, on a more completely superficial note, long time readers may remember Guy. Well, he is coming back to town again...ugh. My how things have changed from a year ago. I still don't know how I completely feel about seeing him. There's a tiny bit of me that still has these feelings for him. Truth be told, I want to see his reaction. I've been lucky in that a lot of my college friends still do not know I have had surgery and so the word has not spread to any great extent. I think he last saw me in like 2003 and I probably weighed around 425 lbs or so. I don't know, I blew him off last year so he's probably not too keen on seeing me. I probably won't bother, but he sure has entered my thoughts.


Blogger Change for Good said...

I still have quite a bit of weight to lose on my thighs too. Keep up the great work. I'm sure you will make the best decision on the "guy" front.


October 7, 2007 at 9:52 AM  
Anonymous Deluzy said...

Yup, I have that "deflated" look going on here, too. I started out smaller but I'm *older*, so hey ... I get it. ;)

And yup, the excess whatever is on my lower half. The top's pretty normal-looking (clothed), but man, my hips and thighs could lose more. I don't think it's going to happen -- when I lose now, it seems to come from the top, and then I start looking weird, but oh well.

Good luck with the guy thing.

October 7, 2007 at 1:01 PM  

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