Craziness

Warning! Major whinefest ahead:
Every morning I weigh, it's around 250 lbs. Every evening, first thing when I get home, 250 lbs. Doesn't matter what I drink, what I eat, when I eat, it stays the same. What does that tell you?

I've added a protein shake at night and much of the edema is gone, but still no movement on the scale. I'm a little discouraged because I put in a good bit of work this month and not even the tiniest bit of progress, in fact, I'm 5-7 lbs over my lowest. Sigh. Major bummer. I was hoping to finish off the year well, but I guess not. I can't even say "oh, but I've dropped a size." Nope, nothing.

I can't even muster enough energy to intellectualize all this. I'm just disappointed. I was hoping to not only be far away from 250, but out of the 240's by now, but now I'm not sure if it'll happen. I'm not sure what to do. It's one thing to be up 10 lbs and see fluctuations throughout the course of the day. I honestly wouldn't be as annoyed/frustrated if I weighed 257 lbs when I got home and 250 in the mornings, but nooooooo, always within a 1.5 or so from 250. It's downright maddening.

Ironically, this happened the last time I went to work at the same place where I'm working now. Same commute, same increased level of activity. In six weeks I only lost 15 lbs and this was over month 9 & 10 post surgery. The funny, interesting part is that I lost 20 lbs in the subsequent 3 weeks. Grrrrrrr.

The only conclusion I can come to is that I am not eating enough for my level of activity. It's not like I feel tired or weak or anything, only about once every two weeks am I ravenous, but that's pretty typical. I'm pretty desperate to show a loss this month so it's up to 3 protein shakes a day for me for the next week, just to see. If nothing, then it's back to square one, that or I'm gonna cry.

Okay, enough of that crap. So anyway, COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE!!!!! Thank GOD!!! It's been a long, looooong break and I am so ready. I don't have high hopes for my alma mater, but as long as they do better than last year, I am happy. The local alumni club has game watches and I am going to go even though the whole social part of it is nervewracking, but I just have to get over it and do it. I ordered some gear so hopefully it'll be here before Friday. I love football, it's in my blood. I think it's because I was born in Texas, I'm not sure. Anyway, I won't be going to my alma mater for a game on the 6th, Guy is going to be there and I just don't even want to deal with that crap, no way! Instead, I am going to Texas on the 18th to see my nephew play in a big, televised game. He's a senior in high school and his squad will be playing their cross town rivals. It's a huge deal, think Friday Night Lights on steroids. The game is what like 3 weeks away and my sister is scrambling to make sure she can get enough tickets. I know he'll be happy that I'll be there and it'll be so awesome to see him play as he'll be playing on Saturdays next year.