28 December 2008

#600... and it's a doozy!

Believe it or not, this is my 600th post, 600 posts in like 2 1/2 years. Wow. That's a lot of blabbing on my part! Well, it's that time of year and so I have been thinking long and hard about resolutions for 2009. This time around, it's not so much about accomplishing a lot of little things, but I want to focus on making good strides toward living a normal healthy lifestyle where my weight and my surgery and my body issues aren't so present in my day to day life.

I've been back and forth with myself over the last several months about whether or not I am happy where I am weight-wise, whether getting down below 200 is feasible or not, whether hitting a certain number is all that important to me. I think what I have learned from all that is I still have issues with the fear of success. It is by far, the hardest thing for me to overcome, it sucks because I really want to be able to say that I'm done losing weight, but I guess, subconsciously, I am afraid of what that really means. I don't know. This hurdle, by far, is the most important one for me to overcome in 2009.

Having said that, after a very crazy holiday season filled with lots of holiday food of all kinds, it's time to get back on track. I continue to slowly shrink in size (which honestly boggles the mind considering how I've been eating lately) so I know my DS still works. I am going to focus on exercise. I haven't pushed myself lately and I think it's time. I've been playing a fair amount of tennis, but with the sketchy weather lately, it hasn't been consistent. I will be signing up for a gym in January, like the rest of America and will start the exercise portion of the Body for LIFE program. I've done BFL before with good results and I will continue to do tennis 2-3 times a week, mostly Sunday afternoon and Monday evenings.

My nutritional requirements haven't changed. Still need to get in at least 2 protein shakes a day, preferably three. Still need to take my supplements, still need to greatly limit the carbs and dairy in my diet. On this front, the only thing I need to improve is to maintain consistency and to basically expand my horizons a little bit and be a little more adventurous with my food. Eating the same things over and over again is convenient, but makes it easy to get off track when boredom sets in. I have to learn that not all veggies are evil. :)

Long story short, yes, the ultimate goal is to see onederland. I don't know when, I'm not putting a timetable on it, but that's the goal. I hope to get pretty damn close within the first 12 weeks.

I made great strides in 2008 in being more social, the biggest thing toward that end was leaving my business and returning to the corporate world. Awesome. It was like I was missing from the world and rediscovered life. I've had a great time just going to work, going out to lunch, going to functions after work, basically just being engaged with other people without all the BS and craziness. I really, really missed that when I was working my my business partner. It's also been awesome to get up every day and look like and feel like an adult. I know that's a weird statement, but I've really enjoyed buying and wearing work clothes, mind you, we have somewhat of a casual work environment where many of my coworkers are t-shirts and tennis shoes type of folks, which is perfectly acceptable, but I don't want to be one of them. I was a card-carrying member when I was 500+ lbs, but not anymore. I like wearing good clothes to work, having my hair look cute, wearing an actual coat with a scarf, all of that. It just makes me feel good and makes me feel like I've made big strides in leaving some of the old Tia behind that needed being left behind. The one thing I wanted to do in 2008 that I haven't done yet is date. I really want to start dating but haven't the slightest idea of how to get that going. One thing I did notice is that I am oblivious to signals that guys send off. I saw this one guy in the cafeteria at work and we had a little moment, a little spark and I just walked away... it didn't occur to me til later that duh, there was something there. Sigh, I need like a dating coach or something.... The old biological clock is ticking and it's not like I want to get married tomorrow, I just want to be going down that road.

All of this is important because in 2009, I will be focusing on my new business venture which I am very excited about. I've been working on it for like two months now and it's materializing into something that I really feel will be successful for me and most importantly, I get to drive. I get to set the tone. I get to be leader and that excites me the most. I've been able to network and talk to potential clients and have felt incredibly confident in myself and I finally know what it's like to not have to be so worried about how fat I am. It's awesome. These are people who haven't the faintest clue that I was ever so morbidly obese and it's such a trip to actually be normal. Y'know sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and still see a fat girl and then other times, especially when I can see my reflection up against people whom I consider to be normal, I am still shocked that I'm fairly normal, at least normal enough to not stand out from the crowd -- except for being almost 6' tall, but I'm used to that!

Going back to BFL issue, it's a 12 week program and in that time, my goal is to work the program as best as I can. In those twelve weeks, I want to lose 25 lbs of body fat. I don't know if that is going to translate to 25 lbs lost on the scale because with this program, it does increase muscle and strength. I think the best measure of success will be a combination of fat lost, weight lost and inches lost. I will take my % body fat on Day 1 and will keep a weekly tally. I will do the same with measurements, but will make that a monthly thing and weight loss will be a daily thing. The BFL program has it's own progress sheets so I will be keep those up.

I feel good about the start of the year, it isn't a big huge goal, just something to get the year started off right. I do have much smaller ambitions, like reading more books. Since I've been taking public transportation to work for the last 6 months, I have read a ton of books, some of them from my list from last year, others that have caught my eye and some are recommendations from friends. I have a stack of 7-8 books that I've purchased in the last couple of weeks that are already on my reading list and I look forward to picking up some more. First up is "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini, I love "The Kite Runner" so am looking forward to finishing this one.

A couple of weeks ago I had a bunch of Real Woman Dollars from Lane Bryant so I decided to go shopping (yet again) and surprise, surprise, I am thisclose to being too small for that store. All the tops are really too big, the sweaters are okay because I usually wear some type of shirt under them so they fit fine. I am suffering from loose waist/bagging bottom syndrome in my Right Fit size 2 jeans so I bought a couple of pairs of size 1's which fit better although they are a little snug in the thigh. Ah, my thighs, my perennial problem area. Hopefully, the work I do in BFL will help. I don't plan to have any kind of plastic surgery in 2009, but will probably start seriously looking into it. I need a lot of work done and will just have to determine what are my wants and what can I live with.

Okay, so I have to tell you about Christmas. I spent Christmas at my friend L's house. I initially thought it was going to be a large group of similarly stranded folks gathering to partake of some holiday cheer, turns out it was largely her family and several neighbors, not too many other single folk. Anyway, it was great overall, food was awesome and I enjoyed myself for the most part. Here's the thing, this is a friend I had known in college and especially during our freshman year, we were very close. To be honest, she was also the pretty one and I was your typical "fat sidekick". That was the role I served, she wasn't much a friend in retrospect, it was really all about her and all the drama in her life. That was the case for the first couple of years of school, but it calmed down the last two years and I sort of went on my way. After graduation we ended up in the same city, but we didn't really live close to each so we didn't hang out much, but when we did, same old story. Anyway this one time, we were volunteering with our local alumni club which was sponsoring a fundraising event, a black tie affair. We were tasked to welcome the guests and give them name-tags or something, I really don't remember. Anyway at the beginning of the night, we were sitting at a table with 3 or 4 other friends (all women) when her boyfriend at the time shows up. She gets all giggly and proceeds to introduce him, one by one, to everyone at the table - except me. I was so hurt. The funny thing is that if I truly thought it was an accident, it wouldn't have bothered me so much and I probably would have just introduced myself and forgotten about it, but in my heart, I knew it was intentional. I was already feeling self-conscious because I had to wear my standard black skirt, white shirt (the only "dressy" outfit I had) and of course, I was the biggest person there. I already felt crappy from the get-go and then she goes and does that. After that night, I avoided her and maybe saw her once or twice in the following weeks, but honestly hadn't talked to her in like 8 or 9 years.

So Christmas dinner, 2008. I will be the first to admit that sometimes people change and I had largely forgiven her and frankly moved on. This is her first time seeing me in years, so obviously, I've lost a lot of weight and she seems genuinely happy about it. Everything seems fine, I get introduced to her whole family, they are perfectly nice people, all is good. Then her neighbors get there. Her out of town family members don't know these people, neither do I. L proceeds to introduce her neighbors, one by one, to everyone there - except for me. It registered in my brain, but I was like "ok, whatever" and I make sure to introduce myself and move on.

After all that, we eat, after dinner, we play a few games - Taboo and Catchphrase, good times. So we're all chilling talking and stuff and the conversation turns to how good the food was. L starts talking about which person made what -- so and so made the banana pudding, she made the spaghetti, her dad cooked almost all the desserts, etc. She runs down almost the entire menu and mind you, I'm sitting almost directly in front of her, maybe 3 feet away and she doesn't mention anything I brought. Mind you, I brought the freakin' Christmas ham and baked mac & cheese, both big hits! I just looked at her. I was done. It's like what Maya Angelou said "when people show you who they are, believe them!" I saw all I needed to see and within an hour or so, I was in my car, making my way home. I won't be socializing with her anymore. It's not that I'm mad, honestly, I'm really not, I feel more relieved, like I dodged a bullet, because what I do remember most about our "friendship" in college was that I was a very, very good friend to her and she wasn't much of one to me. She was exhausting and kinda shallow and trifling. Nope, don't need that crap. When I hugged her goodnight, it was more of a good-bye. I'm sure I'll come across her now that I'm more out and about and I'll be sure to be perfectly amicable, but outside of that, not gonna go there!

Well, I've babbled enough. I need to start blogging more consistently, I tend to keep all my thoughts in reserve and then it's like an avalanche! Good grief!

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25 August 2008

Craziness

Warning! Major whinefest ahead:
Every morning I weigh, it's around 250 lbs. Every evening, first thing when I get home, 250 lbs. Doesn't matter what I drink, what I eat, when I eat, it stays the same. What does that tell you?

I've added a protein shake at night and much of the edema is gone, but still no movement on the scale. I'm a little discouraged because I put in a good bit of work this month and not even the tiniest bit of progress, in fact, I'm 5-7 lbs over my lowest. Sigh. Major bummer. I was hoping to finish off the year well, but I guess not. I can't even say "oh, but I've dropped a size." Nope, nothing.

I can't even muster enough energy to intellectualize all this. I'm just disappointed. I was hoping to not only be far away from 250, but out of the 240's by now, but now I'm not sure if it'll happen. I'm not sure what to do. It's one thing to be up 10 lbs and see fluctuations throughout the course of the day. I honestly wouldn't be as annoyed/frustrated if I weighed 257 lbs when I got home and 250 in the mornings, but nooooooo, always within a 1.5 or so from 250. It's downright maddening.

Ironically, this happened the last time I went to work at the same place where I'm working now. Same commute, same increased level of activity. In six weeks I only lost 15 lbs and this was over month 9 & 10 post surgery. The funny, interesting part is that I lost 20 lbs in the subsequent 3 weeks. Grrrrrrr.

The only conclusion I can come to is that I am not eating enough for my level of activity. It's not like I feel tired or weak or anything, only about once every two weeks am I ravenous, but that's pretty typical. I'm pretty desperate to show a loss this month so it's up to 3 protein shakes a day for me for the next week, just to see. If nothing, then it's back to square one, that or I'm gonna cry.

Okay, enough of that crap. So anyway, COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE!!!!! Thank GOD!!! It's been a long, looooong break and I am so ready. I don't have high hopes for my alma mater, but as long as they do better than last year, I am happy. The local alumni club has game watches and I am going to go even though the whole social part of it is nervewracking, but I just have to get over it and do it. I ordered some gear so hopefully it'll be here before Friday. I love football, it's in my blood. I think it's because I was born in Texas, I'm not sure. Anyway, I won't be going to my alma mater for a game on the 6th, Guy is going to be there and I just don't even want to deal with that crap, no way! Instead, I am going to Texas on the 18th to see my nephew play in a big, televised game. He's a senior in high school and his squad will be playing their cross town rivals. It's a huge deal, think Friday Night Lights on steroids. The game is what like 3 weeks away and my sister is scrambling to make sure she can get enough tickets. I know he'll be happy that I'll be there and it'll be so awesome to see him play as he'll be playing on Saturdays next year.

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30 January 2008

Sigh...

Okay survey time. I really want to hear your responses on this one, because I want to know if the way I feel about this issue is inline with most rational, professional people.

Employee #1 sent this email to Employee #2:
Employee #2,

Per Supervisor #1's email...I thought that we couldn't change a person's name on quotes anymore? Please explain if I am wrong.

Thanks,
Employee #1

Employee #2 sends the following to Employee #1:
Employee #1,

You will excuse my French but I don’t have time for this shit. I do not cheat and understand the rules. You may not like my answer and I’m sorry for that. I’m getting very frustrated where nobody can understand simple procedures and now start questioning my work and my credibility.

I’ve copied Supervisor #1 and Supervisor #2 on this, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask them.

This is the crap I have to deal with in my own company. This is what happens when there are too many friends and family members in a small business. Employee #2 is a sales team member and just happens to be husband to my business partner. I swear to God above, some days I just want to walk away from this. How is that some people just do not know how to act? Someone please tell me how this is at all appropriate? I promise you, I DO NOT get it....

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06 November 2007

Sigh...

We have this employee, she is 24 or 25 years old, has three daughters under the age of 10 and is in the process of going through a divorce. She has been with the company from the beginning and is an all around nice person. The only problem is, she is not a very good employee. She is not getting all her work done, she enlists other employees to cover her slack then when we ask her if she can handle her responsibilities she always tells us yes. When we ask her what are the big time-suckers of her day, she says nothing. I don't know what to do with this girl, I really don't. My business partner has known this girl for well over 10 years and she is a good friend of BP's daughter. BP has even made comments to the effect that she will always do for this girl. Me? I have no emotional attachment to her. I really like her, she's a cool person, her girls are awesome and fun and I certainly sympathize with her divorce situation and have gone out of my way to personally help her as I can, but she's hurting the company. She is hurting our ability to grow. She is hurting our other employees ability to make more money because they have to stop what their doing to help her. What bothers me the most is that she is not all that concerned about how she is affecting the company. I think because of the relationship she has with BP, she feels confident that BP will never fire her and will always accommodate her. I have told BP about this and I am hoping that BP's growing frustration with this girl will make her see the writing on the wall.

None of this is easy. I mean I don't want to fire a young woman who is going throught a divorce with 3 young girls, but she isn't trying. I can understand if she was busting her butt, but she isn't even trying. I can forgive a lot, if she was actually putting forth an effort. She doesn't care, y'know, she is making her paycheck, she doesn't have to perform her job fully and she feels comfortable and believes that she can say sorry and all is well. Her ineptitude/apathy is even more evident while BP is overseas on vacation. BP isn't here to enable her and so she's sucking even more and I don't want to be an unsympathetic jerk, but when is enough, enough.

Enabling people is one of the easiest, yet most detrimental things you can do for someone. If we keep enabling this girl, what is she teaching her daughters about responsibility and making tough decisions in life? It's not my responsibility to support her financially. It's not my responsibility to make sure she does right in the world. She has her own life to live, she has to make her own way in the world and that sometimes means doing stuff you don't want to do. I don't get it. BP's daughter is somewhat similar in this regard. The girl hasn't graduated high school and she's 25. I have tried to plant the seed of education in the girl's ear, but she isn't really hearing it. She doesn't like school and doesn't want to go. NEWSFLASH: No one wants to have to go to school! You go because you want better in life, you go because education=opportunity! Am I wrong? Of course there are exceptions, BP is one. She never went to college, but she had something neither of those girls has -- ambition. She really worked her way up and before we started our company, she was an executive employee making a boatload of money, but that success was 25 years in the making. It also begs the question as to why BP didn't stress education to her own children.

Growing up in my family, my parents weren't about to enable us. There would be no staying at home "trying to find myself" crap. Nuh-uh, plus by the time any of us reached 15 or so, we started to make plans to be up and out. I know I did, it was college for me as it was for a couple of my siblings, some joined the military, many just packed up and left town to seek their own way.

I don't know, I guess I am just ranting. I just don't want to have to carry this girl for however long we keep doing this business. She is really going to have to show me something by the end of the year, she really does or it's going to be an easy decision for me and BP is going to have to put her emotions aside and do the right thing for the company and for the rest of the employees.

Good grief. Yeah well, I am going for a walk...burn off some of this frustration.

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