Sigh...

Okay survey time. I really want to hear your responses on this one, because I want to know if the way I feel about this issue is inline with most rational, professional people.

Employee #1 sent this email to Employee #2:

Employee #2,

Per Supervisor #1's email...I thought that we couldn't change a person's name on quotes anymore? Please explain if I am wrong.

Thanks,
Employee #1

Employee #2 sends the following to Employee #1:

Employee #1,

You will excuse my French but I don’t have time for this shit. I do not cheat and understand the rules. You may not like my answer and I’m sorry for that. I’m getting very frustrated where nobody can understand simple procedures and now start questioning my work and my credibility.

I’ve copied Supervisor #1 and Supervisor #2 on this, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask them.

This is the crap I have to deal with in my own company. This is what happens when there are too many friends and family members in a small business. Employee #2 is a sales team member and just happens to be husband to my business partner. I swear to God above, some days I just want to walk away from this. How is that some people just do not know how to act? Someone please tell me how this is at all appropriate? I promise you, I DO NOT get it....

Weird Dream

Every now and then I have these really vivid dreams that seem so real and seem to last a good while. Typically, they involve people from my life and often people from movies or TV shows, especially ones that I've seen a lot. Several years ago, I used to have really extensive X-Files related dreams when I was a big X-Files nerd, but they were never like I was in the middle of an episode or anything, it was always me just hanging out with the main characters or something like that. Anyway, last night, I dreamt it was graduation day which was weird because there were friends and acquaintances from both my high school and college days. There were tons of people around and everyone had cameras and camcorders and we're having our last hurrah. I distinctly remember putting my video camera down and I guess the plot of the dream was me searching for the camera so I'd be going around and having these little episodes with people, almost like sub dreams. Well, one of these episodes, for some strange reason, was with Eric Close from Without a Trace. He's certainly yummy, but I've never spent any great amount of time fawning over him or anything which makes the dream so weird. Anyway, all I remember is us sharing this passionate kiss and then the next thing I remember is seeing a friend from college and he has my video camera. Crazy, huh? I don't know what it all means, maybe my hormones are raging, I don't know, but me thinks it's time to seriously contemplate jumping in the dating pool. I'm hoping this Valentine's is my last one solo.

Yesterday, the PMS truck hit my business partner hard and by 7PM she was a crying mess. Sometimes I wonder if I have low estrogen or something, because I can't ever recall getting that emotional over really remedial stuff. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment with the Gynecologist today, not because of BP, but because that was one of my things for 2008. I've been dreading it like you would not believe. Anyway, I'll do it this morning as soon as I track down a female doc in the area. Fun.

I need more tennis balls...

After my run today, I went to this park closer to my house than the current one I use. This is the same park I mentioned a few weeks ago, that more of a true park than where I walk

So I am repeating Week 3 of my Couch to 5K, a very good decision. I got through the run okay today and indeed it was easier than the previous times so I am fairly confident that I will be able to wrap up this week okay and transition to the next week without killing myself. I'm actually a little surprised because tennis really kicked my butt on Saturday and I'm still a little sore. I was all prepared to give up midway through training, but I managed to get through it. I'm happy about that.

Last night, I looked up some information on this other park by my house and lo and behold, they have tennis courts! Color me happy! So after my run, I drove by and checked out the courts. There are actually four courts and there was no one else around to be found. This park is pretty huge and they have a couple baseball fields, a soccer field, handball courts, basketball courts, all kind of stuff. The tennis courts look to be in good shape and it looks like I can have them all to myself (bwaaahaha) so that means lots of drills and practice for me. I really, really want to be good at this, I'm not sure why, but I really do. I just feel like being good at tennis is something within my reach for a change. Anyway, I'm formulating a practice regimen for the near and long term. I have another formal lesson tomorrow night, so I am going to ask, but from the kinds of things I've read online, I should be working on footwork, ball control, follow through, everything. My footwork sucks, I have zero ball control and I can't even focus on follow through 'cause half the time I miss the ball completely! What I do know is that it'll take discipline and dedication and I want to prove to myself that I can do it, especially the discipline aspect of it. My life has not been defined by discipline and I'd like to be able to say that I can do what it takes to be good at this sport. Getting to goal weight-wise is part of this as well.

Speaking of weight, I'm staying off the scale after I went up like 3 lbs on Sunday, I know it's water weight and has to do with muscle repair after tennis and running. My lower back muscles are swollen, they feel 50% bigger, it's kinda weird actually. Anyway, I will wait til the 30th for the final tally for the month.

Game, set, match!

I am a happy, sore girl. Today I went out to see my business partner and her husband play their tennis matches. Despite the cold, it was fun and I got to observe actual play and ask a ton of questions. They both lost (their team kinda sucks) but at least they both went to 3 sets. Enough about them though, I'm surprised that I like it more than I thought I would. I was certainly excited about being out there and moving around and testing the limits of my physical and meager athletic abilities, but I was a little unsure of how much I would enjoy the game of it. I think what I like about it is that it is interactive and requires a good amount of skill. My choices of exercises in the past have all been solo endeavors (running) or easy (walking). Tennis means I have to take lessons (hopefully twice a week), do some practice on my own and hopefully join a team (translation: socializing). I like the idea of me playing a sport, something not on the radar two years ago. Tennis is also more strenuous than just walking or running...mind you we must remember where I am in the whole running thing - beginner - I can't run more than 3 minutes at a time right now so even with my training for the 5K, once I knock out my 1/2 hour, I'm not all that tired. Famous last words, right? Well, after my tennis lesson yesterday, I was soaked in sweat and exhausted! It felt good to actually feel like I worked up a sweat. Anyway, long story short, I have to make sure that I don't burn myself out with running and tennis, I'm all hyper about tennis right now, but I just need to calm down and pace myself... I'm not going to be winning the city championships tomorrow. I'm thinking I'll alternate tennis & running on alternate days. That should work.

The plan is to keep up with practice & drills for the next 4-5 months and hopefully by summer I can join a team. One thing I gotta do is manage my 5K training with tennis better. I was supposed to run today, but absolutely could not, I could barely walk. I am going to run tomorrow and am repeating week 3. I basically knew that as soon as I finished Day 1 of Week 3 as Week 4 is all about 5 minute runs and I'm not near being able to run 5 straight minutes, maybe once, but definitely not within 20 minutes! I'm going to have to work towards it, no doubt.

Yeah, well, my muscles still ache so it's a hot shower and bedtime for me!

Drive-by post, part deux

It's late, I'm tired, but had to log on and let y'all know that tennis is FUN! A lot of FUN and harder than I thought, but so much fun!

Drive-by post

I'm off to my tennis lesson in the freezing cold! Woo-hoo! That's not sarcasm, well, not a lot. I am excited about tennis, but I'm not excited about the weather.

Still holding steady at 264.0 lbs. Hoping to drop a couple of lbs before my surgiversary.

After tennis, it's a Lost marathon with a friend as the new season begins next week. Very excited about that as well! Anywho, off I go!

13.2

Dr.'s appointment on Monday went well although I really need to stop getting nervous/anxious at those darn things because my blood pressure is always higher there. 120/68. Long story, short, I'm still on the bp meds, that's okay, I told her about the readings I took and she said that when I start having symptoms of low blood pressure to give her a ring and they'll check me again. She's very happy with my weight loss and anticipates that I'll be off the meds in 6 months. Good enough for me, I just don't want to get off of them, only to have to get back on again, so if it takes a little while longer, no problemo! I also got my blood drawn and almost had to choke the lab technician. She was having trouble finding a vein and was poking and digging around. Lucky for her it was MLK Jr. Day!

I actually got the results back from my labs this morning. All is well, especially my iron. My hemoglobin is up to 13.2. That's higher than it was pre-surgery! Serum Ferritin is 151 and Serum Iron is 57. My Total Serum Protein is 7.8 and my Albumin is 4.5, both higher than all my previous post-op labs. Yea!

I started Week 3 of my running program yesterday and Holy Mother!!! Not easy. Running for 3 straight minutes is harder than I thought, but I did it! I was certainly breathing heavy during the last 3 minutes, BUT (1) I finished every run (2) I did NOT need to stop and (3) afterwards, I was spent, but again, not overly exhausted. I've started eating a tad more carbs so I think that is helping some. I bought a loaf of Nature's Own Double Fiber Wheat Bread and have been having a slice every morning. Luckily it's not giving me any gas issues. I had to run in the freezing rain and that was NOT something I want to do often. I had to go because I couldn't run Monday as I had my appointment and I didn't want to push it off another day because of the weather so I went and got soaked to the bone. It took me a good hour to warm back up.

I weighed in this morning at 264.0 lbs. Cool! That is down 2.4 lbs over the last couple of days. Yea! Last night I went to see Cloverfield with a friend. It was a trip! I liked it, it won't be winning any Oscars, but it was a fun movie experience. I holy-crap'd and ohmigod my way through the last 2/3 of the movie. Tonight something a little less apocalyptic...I have a dinner meeting with the planning committee for our local Walk From Obesity and I'm excited to be a part of it. I've never planned anything like this before so it should be interesting. I don't remember when the actual Walk is, but I believe it is 5K. Good stuff.

Yeah, baby, yeah!!!

Start Weight: 516.6 lbs
Surgery Weight: 510.0 lbs
Current Weight: 266.4 lbs
Goal Weight: 199.8 lbs

TOTAL LOSS: 250.2 lbs!

Woo-hoo!!!! The light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter and brighter. 66.6 lbs to goal.

Yes, I am a happy camper this morning, needless to say!

So, I have an appointment with my PCP this morning so I have to keep this post short. Keep your fingers crossed that she will give me the okay to get off the blood pressure meds for good! I checked it three times this weekend and it ranged from 83/64 to 107/78. I'm also going to get labs done as well.

Smooth Move

I've been thinking a lot about running lately, sometimes I can't believe I'm actually running, well, jogging, if you will. They say the first few weeks are the hardest and I certainly hope that is the case, but I do know that at some point, before my first race of the year on the 22nd of March, I'm going to have to train for hills as I seriously doubt that the race is going to be level. Atlanta is very, very hilly so it's looking like I have a two week gap from when I complete the Couch to 5K program and the actual race. Assuming I don't have to repeat any weeks during the initial training, I should be able to incorporate hill training during that two week gap.

I finished up Week 2 yesterday, which wasn't bad, I didn't feel like I was going to die and I wasn't as tired at the end although I did sweat more this time around, that may have been because I was covered in a lot of layers. It snowed all day yesterday, it started late morning and continued til early evening. I ran earlier than normal, around 10:30 AM because I did not want to run on slick surfaces nor did I want to get soaked if the temp rose a few degrees and the snow turned to icy rain. All in all, I did pretty well. Tomorrow I start Week 3 which is now two repetitions of 90 sec walk/90 sec run/3 min walk/3 min run. Sounds downright scary if you ask me, but I think I can get through it, the only thing that gives me pause is getting through that last 3 min run. Yikes. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Yesterday I got a new office chair. This is significant because the old one was too big. Imagine that. It was a sweet chair though, one of those incredibly expensive, yet impossibly comfortable Aeron chairs I bought for $200 when the company I worked for went under and started selling off all it's office furniture. I got the largest size which was barely big enough and it lasted a good 6-7 years. At one point, I actually plopped down in it and the seat broke so I kind of rigged it up and it's been that way for like 3-4 years. Lately, it's been causing me a good bit of back and arm pain and despite my best efforts, I just couldn't make it comfortable so to retirement it goes. I can't really even give it away or anything because it's broken and I guess I could contact Herman Miller about a replacement seat or repair, but odds are the repair (not to mention shipping) costs would probably be greater than what I paid for the darn thing. The new one I just ordered works great, a few other folks in my company are using it and love it so I had the opportunity to test it out beforehand. Good stuff.

Last night I gave in and had a cup of senna tea because the constipation was getting really out of control, I felt somewhat miserable most of the day. It's funny how "senna tea" sounds a lot like "sanity", anyway, lots and lots of poop this morning. Thank God! I feel so, so much better. I'm down to 267.4 lbs, for a loss of 3.6 lbs for the month and 249.2 lbs overall. Not the whoosh I expected, but I think I know why. 'Member how I got that new scale, well, thank goodness I bother to weigh every day and record my stats. Since the beginning of the month, my weight has gone from 271.0 to 267.4 lbs, BMI from 38.3 to 37.9, body fat % from 48.3% to 46.1% (a loss of 7.6 lbs) and skeletal/muscle mass went from 63.4 lbs to 65.8! Pretty awesome! The only wonky number is my % of body water went from 28.3% to 29.3%. All in all, I lost over 7 1/2 lbs of fat and gained 2.4 lbs of muscle! Cool beans! Progress! I love it!

Huh?

Support Group last night was great, of course. The legendary Dr. Dennis Smith was there and he spoke about the issues with medications, supplements and vitamins pre- and post-op. It was very informative and I was impressed with his knowledge about the complications and issues that arise when you have weight loss surgery and take a myriad of drugs. Good Stuff. Dr. Smith said he was impressed with the weight loss of our group, at the beginning of meeting, we all introduce ourselves, tell what kind of surgery we have, will be having or are considering and if we've lost weight, how much. It was great all around. I love my support group, it rocks. I can see myself going there for a good long while.

Weight this morning: 269.8 lbs. Not. Happy. Especially since I had a good eating day yesterday, I swear, I don't get it. I was all ready to come on here and rant and rave and bitch and moan about the injustice and unfairness of it all, about how if you take out the 16 lb water weight gain/loss, I've only lost 5 lbs in 2 months, on and on and on, but I had to go pee and out the corner of my eye, I see this pair of size 20 jeans that a friend had given me this past summer. So I go tinkle, all the while thinking of stuff to whine about, and then I go get these jeans and try them on, a few weeks ago, I could get them on, but could not fasten nor zip them up, today I could and about 90% of my anger/frustration dissipated. HOLY CRAP!!!! I WEAR A SIZE 20!!!! It blows my mind. Me? A size 20? What the hell?!?

I don't think I can take the drama... I certainly don't understand why the scale tells me one thing about how well I am doing and then stuff like this and people's comments tell me another. I must still be retaining a good bit of water or something else is going on so it's time to book appointments with my PCP, the hematologist and the girly-bits doc (Gynecologist) to make sure all is okay. I'm trying really hard to trust my DS, obviously something is working, but maybe something else is going on as well. Time to make sure all is well.

I did do something that I am quite proud of. At support group last night, I relinquished my two old scales that were with me during my 500+ lb days. Ta-ta! Buh-bye! They are now with new owners. Yep, I can't lie and say there wasn't a bit of sentimentality involved, but I just don't need them anymore and we all know, one scale is enough to drive me crazy, don't need three!

The Big C

Weight this morning: 267.8 lbs. Yea! I am still horribly constipated though, ugh, I just feel like my abdomen is full of sludge. I hate it. I've taken stool softeners the last couple of days, but no major action just yet. I just got back from my run in the park but that didn't really seem to get things moving so I guess it's just sit and wait. Speaking of running, today was hard, harder than Monday. Gawdang. The last two 90 second runs were rough! I don't know, we'll see how Saturday goes, but I may be repeating a week here or there along the way.

I've been drinking a lot of protein shakes lately, 2-3 a day and it seems that I can't eat as much food as I did before. For example, a typical breakfast for me is a couple of eggs scrambled with some sausage. Before, I could finish this over the course of 1/2 an hour, now I can't. I ate my breakfast in two different sittings which is not a common thing. I don't know whether it's the big C which is causing it or not, I guess we'll see as soon as I get things moving.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Y'know how on my first day of running, I was so exhausted I could have passed out in the middle of the floor...man, I am feeling that same way now! I drank a protein shake as soon as I got home and I just finished eating a couple of eggs, but I'm still toast!

Week 2, Day 1

I just got back from running and needless to say, it was more difficult than last week. I completed 6 sets of 90 sec run/2 min walks. I was feeling good through the first four, the last two were rough, especially the last one. I tell ya, 90 seconds is a looong time, but I ran each segment that I was supposed to although maybe not gracefully as before, but I did it. I don't feel any soreness, but I am definitely tired and even worked up a sweat which is surprising because it's like 43 ° and windy so it's quite chilly, but by the time I ended, I had thoughts of taking my pullover off. Today definitely gave me some more hope that I might actually be able to do this running thing.

Weighed in this morning at 269.2 lbs. Sigh. I'm working on convincing myself that all this running is building muscle...yeah, that's it!

Post Par-tay!

Oh boy, what a weekend! Friday night was a trip, for sure and I am about 90% recovered from the last 36 hours. I do feel a little odd because yesterday felt like a Sunday and today feels like a weekday, but thank God it's not. I need today to actually take it easy maybe and truly wind down. Well going out Friday night was interesting to say the least, the party started at my friend's house around 8:00 PM. We cooked up some appetizers and they started drinking Tequila shots. By the time we actually hit the road, it was 10:45 or so and they'd had around 4-5 rounds of shots. Off we go to the bar where another friend is the bartender and had promised the birthday girl a free drink or two. So we met up with two more friends and hung out at the bar, played darts and by this time everyone was pretty giddy so being one of two sober people, it was fun being silly, cracking jokes, playing around and not be drunk because when it was time to hop back in the car to go someplace else, no one had to worry about getting from point A to B safely. Anyway, we left that bar and went to this place in Buckhead around 1:30AM. It was a hole, but they had good music and my friends had a few more rounds of drinks and we eventually got out of there at 3:00 AM when I had a brilliant idea... Waffle House! Yea! For those of you not familiar with Waffle House it is "the" place to chow down and sober up post-partying in metro Atlanta. I hadn't been to a Waffle House in years. Besides waffles, they have your typical diner food. Turns out Waffle House was the right move because we were all starving and the food was outstanding ... yes, I know that sounds crazy, but after what like 7 hours of running around, we were all tired and we could have eaten at McDonalds and thought it was the best stuff ever. Anyway, I had a cheese & ham omelet, sausage patties and a couple bites of toast and hash browns. Everyone else had similar things, only one person got an actual waffle. By 4:30AM we were done and piled back into the car and we went to the birthday girl's house and I dropped everyone home and they crashed there. I didn't get home til 5:15AM and was unconscious by 5:30.

All in all a good time, the next day, yesterday,...not so much. Here's the thing. While everyone else was drinking tequila and beer and other stuff, I was drinking Diet Coke and water. The problem with drinking Diet Coke at two in the morning is that by 5:30 AM I was having a hard time falling into deep sleep because of all the caffeine even though I was dead tired so by 12:30 PM, I just got up for good because there was little use in me trying to sleep when I knew I really couldn't. So I got up and immediately took my supplements and drank a protein shake. I also knew I had to go run because it was Day 3 of Week 1 of my Couch to 5K program and I didn't want to push it off to Sunday. So I go to the park to run around 2:30 or so and I tell you, it was my most enjoyable run so far. I didn't have any pain, I wasn't overly tired -- I worked up a sweat, but wasn't exhausted. I felt really good and I actually felt like I could take it up a notch, which I will as week 2 does exactly that. Instead of alternating 60 seconds of running with 90 seconds of walking, it changes to 90 seconds of running/2 mins of rest. I will start that on Monday.

Anyway, so after the park, I go to the grocery store to pick up a few things and I'm home around 4:00 PM and I literally just veg on my couch for an hour because by 5:00 PM, I have to get up and go get ready for a birthday dinner at 7:00. Around 6:30 PM, the caffeine has absolutely worn off and I am exhausted, so exhausted, in fact, I'm not even positive I will be making to the dinner, but I go shower and dress up and make my way over there and once I see what's for dinner, I perk right up! Crabcakes AND Alaskan King Crab legs! Holy Mother! I was in heaven! There was also roasted potatoes (skipped) and sautéed green beans (yum), but I didn't waste space on that stuff, I was all about the crab! Absolutely divine, I gotta tell ya. Yum, yum, yum. Instead of birthday cake, we had creme brulee which I had a bite of, but I am not much of a fan. We wrapped up around 10:15 PM as some folks were headed out and all I could think of was my nice warm bed. By the time I got home, it was 10:45 and I was unconscious by 11:00 PM and woke up this morning around 9 AM.

So that has been my weekend so far. All I feel like doing today is ... nothing. I kinda feel like I want to go back to bed, but I'm not, I don't want to screw up my normal schedule. There are a couple of things I gotta do for work and I have to go get a prescription refilled, but that's about it. I may go ahead and rearrange my home office like I'd been contemplating. I have bought a new table to situate perpendicular with my current table so that I can now have an L-shaped desk which works better with my computer screens and gives me more desk space.

Anyway, I weighed in this morning at 269.8 lbs. Ugh. I know why, I haven't had a big poop since Friday morning, even my run yesterday didn't help much and there's no way I'm reducing the amount of calcium or iron I take, so I guess it's more water and possibly stool softeners for me. Bummer.

There are a couple of football games today, so I think I will head out, go run my 2 or 3 errands and maybe sneak in some work before I retire to the couch. My Cowboys play today so they better not disappoint, I'm hoping they make it to the Super Bowl so that I can throw a party!

Par-tay!

Weighed in this morning at 268.0 lbs, a loss of 2.0 lbs overnight. Finally broke the 270 barrier, woo-hoo! Buh-bye 270's!!! Happy happy, joy joy! Yesterday, I had a whopping 244 grams of protein, most of it coming from protein shakes which is a good and bad thing. Those shakes definitely give me crazy gas and I have no idea why, it just doesn't make much sense because I have tried plenty of shakes and not a one has ever given me gas like that. Y'know what does give me gas like that? Dairy. Milk, cream, not so much cheese, but liquid dairy products. Dairy also gives me diarrhea and right now I have the opposite problem. Anyway, the mix is whey based, but so are the other two brands that I drink (IDS & Nectar). It kind of sucks because, by far, it's the best tasting protein drink I've ever had, but the gas is a big no-no. I'm certainly not going to waste it, I will just reserve it for days when I know I'm not going to be around people. :) Today ain't one of those days! Luckily, the protein I ordered online should be coming in this afternoon.

Today is a good friend's birthday so we are taking her on the town tonight. Actually, she arranged the whole thing and I going to serve as the Designated Driver since I won't be drinking and will be responsible for making sure no one gets themselves arrested. Good times. I'm actually a little nervous about this because I just need to make sure I have a supply of water & protein snacks with me, the last thing I want is to get dehydrated or get too hungry and feel weak on a night like tonight. I'm also nervous because I am soooo not a club person, but I'm trying to be open minded about it and just have fun. Who knows, maybe I might meet "the one", my very own cute, intelligent, funny and tall drink of water.

Anyway, got a full day ahead of me. We have a big staff meeting with all our intown staff and are conferencing everyone else, that's going to eat about 2 hours of my day. Then we have a management meeting immediately afterwards THEN it's tennis time! Woo-hoo! After tennis, I come home to get some work done, then I will definitely need to take a nap before going out tonight. Busy, busy, busy!

Again

Weight this morning: 270.0 lbs, same as yesterday.

Today, I feel so bloated. The big C word again and I think the Maximum Protein is definitely giving me gas. Not good.

200+

I don't know what it is, but my stomach is doing cartwheels, something is giving me crazy gas, gas like I just drank a cup of milk or ate some sugar free candy, but I haven't. I hope it isn't the protein powder I bought. That would NOT be good. It tastes wonderful, but I don't know if I want the crazy gas that comes along with it. Oh well, I ordered my IDS Cinnamon Vanilla and it's coming UPS 2nd Day Air so it should be here Friday. My plan for now is to get my protein up there over 200 grams, I think I have been wallowing in the 120-140's for too long. I have a tendency to let my protein drop to those levels because they are comfortable levels to maintain. I can easily get in 120 grams with no protein drinks, but I think maybe what I am going through now is possibly water retention because of low protein. Grrrr. I should know better by now. It's just that in the past, I was trying to get over 200 grams mostly through food and well that's a lot of work and can quickly lead to food aversion which I had this summer. If I can just remember to bookend my days with protein drinks and have one post workout, I should be good, it's just a matter of keeping that routine going. Sometimes I can be stubborn with myself, although it might be more accurate to say sometimes I'm not entirely convinced and need more proof.

Still no coffee although I did have an urge so I threw it out. I'm not known to waste much of anything, but unless I got rid of it the moment that I did, I'd have drank 2 or 3 cups by now. Mind you, it was decaf coffee so it was not like I was getting an energy boost out of it or anything, it was just warm and felt wonderful going down and helped a little in heating up my core body temperature...or at least that's what it felt like. I've never had a heated protein drink so I may actually try that, for some reason I am under the potentially false impression that somehow the protein is destroyed if it's heated and I couldn't even tell you exactly where I got that idea. Hell if I know, I'd better look it up.

Running Day 2

I got back from my Couch to 5K training and oh my goodness, I ache, but the weather was still pretty good, around 60 ° and sunny, however you can tell things are heading back to normal (cold and crappy). Y'know the soreness wasn't so bad early in the day yesterday, but say after 3 or 4PM, I was feeling it and this morning I was still sore and now, after I ran, oh it's not fun. I had a moment during the last couple of series where I wasn't sure I could be actually running for a quarter mile or whatever it is in a few weeks. I had thoughts that I am still too heavy to run, but then that just maybe to Day 2 talking, y'know. They say the first few weeks are the hardest so I just have to get through it as best I can, but it sho ain't easy. For the record, today was harder than the first, at least I was smart enough to run a route that put me nearer to my car than Monday.

I weighed in this morning at exactly 270.0 lbs. Ugh, so close! BUT progress is being made, that's what I care about! I mentioned the extra soreness I was feeling last night and throughout the evening I definitely felt increased edema in my lower legs and that's where I feel it most now, in my shins.

I ran out of protein powder yesterday and so today I had to order some online, but decided to go to GNC and pick up something to hold me over. Typically in times like this, I usually just pick up a case of Isopure Zero Carb RTD bottles (12) and be on my merry way, but decided to look at mixes because they are more economical. I ended up getting Maximum Protein - Chocolate, the lady at GNC had some mixed up and boy it is tasty! It has 22g of protein per scoop and I think 3g of carbs as well, which is a tad high, but I think it makes it really palatable. It doesn't even taste like a protein drink, I've never had a Yoo-hoo, but the lady said that's what they taste like. Yummy! Only problem is that it doesn't mix all that great and requires a bit of agitation (ice cubes) to mix right, the IDS Vanilla Cinnamon that I ordered and my old stand-by, Nectar Roadside Lemonade mix much easier.

No coffee today, I don't miss it ... yet. I've been eating like mad woman since I've been home from running. I had a protein shake, a few slices of salami and a bowl of chili and could eat more, but I am going to pace myself and get some water in first. Anyway, I have to switch up my schedule this week because I have my first tennis lesson Friday (woo-hoo!) so I am going to move my running day to Saturday AM. I know I said the days when I'm not running or playing tennis were open days to do whatever, yeah well whatever is now nothing. I really do need those days to recover, I can't imagine do much strenuous exercise, at best maybe just a leisurely walk, but that might have to wait for a few weeks... I don't want to do too much and injure myself and burn myself out from accomplishing my goal.

Able-bodied

I talked to my parents about my running and they very nearly completely bummed me out. My dad was like "oh, c'mon" in sort of a "what are you up to now?" kind of tone which was a little surprising. When I asked him why he said that she mumbled and said something like he didn't want me to hurt myself and do damage to my body. My mom was a little more neutral but when I told her about my dad's reaction she was said she felt the same way, but didn't say so. Dang. Obviously they don't get what I am trying to do here and I guess that's okay, but it still stings. I have to look at it from their point of view, they are very, very old school and "running for sport" is not something they can wrap their 75+ year old brains around. It's not something you do unless someone or something is chasing you so maybe I have to give them some slack. It could also be that they haven't fully grasped how much of a different person I want to be and maybe it's my failure in not conveying that. I haven't really involved them in all the stuff I want to do in 2008 and how much I want to transform my life. As far as they are concerned, I'm just fine as I am (which was a long time coming) and while I certainly appreciate that, I want them to be happy for me and for me trying to achieve more. Oh well, in the past, I would have felt completely deflated, but I won't let that happen now. They are still going to be the first people I call when I finish my 10K in July.

Anyway, I'm not really that sore. It's barely noticeable, I feel it a little in my thighs and shins, but that's really it. It is supposed to be 72 ° today so how can I not go to park again? I mean, seriously, wouldn't that be a crime against all that good and holy in the world to not enjoy such a gift of warmth? I think so, so yeah, I'm out of here around noon! I'm just going to take leisurely walk, hardly brisk and just enjoy some good music and the sun on my skin.

This morning I weighed in at exactly what I weighed in yesterday at, 270.2 lbs. I gotta tell ya, I'm perplexed at how my body seems to not want to get below 270 lbs. This is not good for my psyche. It's also probably has to do with the running, my muscles are probably retaining some water due to soreness so I'm not going to panic and I do have to remind myself about the water weight I gained last month when I look back and see how long it's taking me to get below 270. I am being stubborn (stupidly probably) about one thing though -- I have grown to love my cups of coffee. I use decaf coffee, Splenda and the lowest carb coffee creamer I can find. I like my coffee with a lot of cream & Splenda and if I am being completely honest, each cup probably has anywhere from 10-15g of carbs. Yikes! I know, I know. I got hooked when I took a job in February. I tried to limit myself to one or two cups a day, but I will probably have to kiss the coffee good-bye as of right now. Bummer. It's my only "bad" thing. I guess if I can give up cheese, which is my favorite food and if I can go gluten free, then I can give up the coffee. Ok, fine, I am done with coffee. I just had my last cup and we'll see how things go.

Running!

Okay, I just got back from my training and it went well! I was really worried about not actually being able to follow it because it calls for 60 secs of running followed by 90 seconds of rest. This is repeated for a total of 6 times and I wasn't sure I would be able to sustain it, but I did! Woo-hoo! I tell ya, I'm a little shocked. I thought for sure I'd be walking most of it, on that note, oh my gosh, I'm exhausted! The whole training series was less than a mile and half in distance -- and only 20 minutes -- and as luck would have it, it ended at the furthest section of the park so I had to take my time getting back to my car. Even now, a few hours later, I am just absolutely pooped and really want to take a nap although I don't know if it's because of the run or because I had a few hours of mediocre sleep, probably a combination of both.

Tomorrow will tell the tale as to whether or not I'll be doing much exercise on the days after I run. My legs are already achy so I'm a tad worried about being stiff tomorrow. Also, I've discovered running does something else for me... let's just say that I won't be needing any stool softeners... every 1/2 hour it seems like since I've been home!

My first 5K of the year will be the Atlanta Women's 5K on March 22nd. That's roughly 11 weeks away, my training program in 9 weeks away which gives me plenty of time to work my way through it even if I have to redo a week along the way or something. After that it's 15 more weeks to the Peachtree Road Race 10K on the 4th of July. I hope to have at least another one or two 5K's under my belt by then.

On the brink...

I will be posting to the OH Exercise board everyday to log my exercise and hopefully participate in that community a little more. I could barely sleep last night, I've been so excited about running, the idea is intoxicating. Me, a runner? Who would have ever thunk it?

This morning I weighed in at 270.2 lbs, on the brink of being out of the 270s. Man, it seems like I have been in the 270's for two months! I try not to think that I should be around 255 lbs and instead focus on actually getting there. I have given up on setting goal weights by specific dates, it just does not work for me, I have to be all about one day at a time and just focusing on what I can control which is what I eat and drink and how much I exercise. Doing anything else just leads to insanity.

Yet another thing I want to work on is how fast I eat, sometimes I have a tendency to want to scarf things down which causes a tight feeling in my throat, often food feels stuck. You'd think I'd be past these issues at 16+ months out, but alas, such is not the case. Lately I've wondered if my stomach is stretched to the point where it'll be difficult for me to get to goal. There was a post on OH about a lady who weighed 500+ lbs and after 5 years, the lowest she ever got was down to 280. That scares the crap out of me. Only she knows whether or not she did all the right things, but just the idea causes me a good deal of anxiety. Focusing on the day to day is the best thing I can do right now and here on out!

Anywho, time to get ready to go run! Woo-hoo!

4.0224 miles

I just checked the weather and it looks like it's going to be in the upper 60's for the next couple of days! Wonderful! Perfect running conditions. I'm glad I went out today for a nice walk, 100% less boring than indoors. Tomorrow I run and then Tuesday I will just walk. I've been mapping out a good 4-mile route when I am ready for it, even if I am just walking it. It starts midway up and hill, crests the hill and down the other side, then I walk to the park that I current use, walk around the outer loop and retrace my steps back up the killer hill and ending up where I started. I like it because it's obviously challenging and should help me deal with hills better which was my downfall during my first 10K. I know the first time I walk it it's going to be bloody murder, but I'll need to push myself at some point.

A little inspiration:

You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi

Beautiful day

65 °, most cloudy. Uh, yeah, as soon as I saw that, I was out the door to the park. I just got home after a good 2-mile walk (41 mins). It is absolutely beautiful outside so what an incredible waste it would have been if I didn't soak it up while I could. Less than a week ago, it was like 25 ° and I was miserable, but not today. Thank you, Mother Nature, sometimes you rock!

I found a new park! Yes, I am pretty bad about knowing my surroundings, but I saw a sign for this park so I decided to check it out and I think it is where I will do my training. The park I currently walk out is very family oriented meaning you spend a good bit of your time dodging kids on their bikes and rollerblades. This park is more trail-like so I only saw runners and walkers. Cool, plus it's actually closer to my house than the other one. I have to GMaps Pedometer it to really get a lay of the land and to see what 1-, 2- and 3-miles look like.

Anyway, I'm starving, yet again, time for food!

Poop and run

TMI-time. Lately I've been paranoid that I'm not getting enough Calcium. I think it's because I am really afraid of breaking a bone or otherwise injuring myself while I'm doing all this exercise. The last thing I need is to be out of commission so I've been taking up to 1000mg more a day above my 2000mg minimum. The problem is that I also take my iron twice a day, both constipation-making machines. Obviously one thing I'm not going to do is stop taking the extra Calcium or iron, but I'm trying to figure out what my other options are because I DO NOT want to ride the 'rhoid train. I can either start taking a stool softener or I can start taking a fiber supplement. I think for now, I'll go with a nightly stool softener, I think, and we'll see how it goes. My weight this morning was 271.0 lbs. Hopefully things will get moving again. I hate feeling constipated, it's hard to feel healthy.

I've been letting my protein slip a little bit which is not good. It's been in the 120-140g per day range instead of upwards of 200g. I think one of my big mistakes has been drinking water with my supplements instead of a protein shake so that's gonna change. I don't really like them during the day, it's either first "meal" of the day or the very last and so if I don't end of drinking one first thing in the morning, then I sometimes don't get around to it.

Tomorrow I officially start my Couch to 5K training, I'm pretty excited. I'm opting to run at lunchtime instead of early morning as I don't really want to be getting up at 5 AM. I downloaded these Couch to 5K Podcasts to my iPod so that I will know when to run/walk. Not my favorite kind of music, but it'll do until I can figure out how to do my own. Ok, so the whole exercise plan is as follows (at least for the first few weeks):

Monday: Couch to 5K training
Tuesday: OPEN
Wednesday: Couch to 5K training
Thursday: Tennis Lessons
Friday: Couch to 5K training
Saturday: OPEN
Sunday: OPEN

"OPEN" days are days where I could go to the Y or just go for a walk or maybe go play tennis or something. These allow me some variety so that I won't get bored.

Today, I'm going to continue with The Great Purge and try to wrap up a few loose ends with work stuff. We have a new employee starting tomorrow which I am very excited about. We are basically hiring her in order to get rid of one of the slackers. The next couple of months should be interesting on that front.

Yeah, well, time for food. I'm starving!

Off you go!

I'm taking a quick break during Phase I of "The Great Purge" to eat some breakfast and make a quick post. I am tackling the 12 foot high pile of crap that's been sitting in my den for months. That's a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. It's mostly clothes which I am divvying up into three smaller piles, one pile to donate to Dress For Success, another for Goodwill and another pile to keep. Right now it's a race between the DFS pile and the Goodwill pile. Almost 95% of the DFS clothes I have never worn and almost 95% of the Goodwill pile I have worn.

Let me take a moment to explain a little more about "The Great Purge" and why it's one of my things for 2008. Several years ago, I was a big X-Files fan -- well that's an understatement, I was an obsessed X-Files fan. I was a NERD to the tenth degree. Looking back on it, I was way too emotionally involved in that show and it's characters because frankly, my own life was so devoid of real companionship and so I could vicariously have this deep, intimate relationship with Mulder and Scully. Yeah, it was pretty sad. Of course, I didn't realize it at the time, but now I do and that's just not me anymore. Time for Tia to play in the real world, not fantasy land. Anyway, what triggered this was a lunch I had in July (and I think mentioned on this blog) with a friend I hadn't seen in a good while. He off-handedly asked me if I was still into the X-Files and I sort of laughed it off and said "uh, no", but it stuck in my head that that's who he knows me as and it didn't really bother me at the time, but over the course of the next few months it stewed and grew into a desire to not hang onto the things that are not what I want in my life. This was all cemented when I talked to my cousin at that Christmas party. She said "have a vision of your life and make it happen. Do things that support that vision, get rid of the things that don't." So that's what I am doing. I am going to go through every single item in my whole house and I am going to ask myself "Does this support my vision?" If it doesn't, out it goes. Cause seriously, what do Mulder & Scully action figures have to do with my life? Why am I keeping purses I never use and don't like? How is the printer that hasn't worked in 5 years doing anything for me?

I know it's probably going to take me a good 5-6 weekends to get it all done, but that's okay. I want to get it done. Getting rid of all this crap also means I can finally make my house feel like a home. How cool is that?

Seriously...

I'm being stalked by a cat, y'all. I'm not kidding. It's following me. I first saw it New Year's Eve Day when I went out to put my mail in the mailbox and it ran up to me and starting making noises and stuff. I think you would call it purring. I'd walk a few steps and it was right there next to me. I'd change directions and it did the same. I walked briskly toward my door and it anticipated my steps and headed the same direction. Ok, confession time. I am not what you would call an animal person. It's not that I don't like animals, I just never spent any significant time with them and so am just a little uneasy around them. My friend has three cats and I'm totally cool around them, but they just make me nervous a little bit, I mean have you seen "When Animals Attack!" or "Good Pets, Gone Bad." Just kidding...sort of. I tried to get ahold of the cat to read the name off the tag on it's leash, but the darn thing wouldn't sit still so I gave up on that.

Anyway, I hadn't seen the cat in a few days so I assumed it went back home, but today I went out to get my garbage can from the street and here comes the cat shooting right around the corner and it plops itself right at my feet and now it's even more clingy. I can't go two inches without it mirroring my every move, not to mention the fact that the garage door is open and there's no way for me to keep the cat out and get the garage door down because all my other doors are locked. So, in rapid succession I leave the garage door open, fake out the cat and run in my house. I get a bowl of water and some leftover pork ribs and I grab my extra garage door opener. I exit the front door, the cat hears this and make a beeline right to me. I put the water and the pork off to the side. While the cat drinks and nibbles, I push the button on the garage door opener so that the garage door closes. Once it's closed, I quickly enter the house back through the front door. A couple of seconds later, I can hear the cat meowing. I'm not sure what to do y'all. Obviously the cat's been somewhere the last two days so I'm guessing the owner is letting it out to romp around. I don't know. I may have to get my friend whose more familiar with cats to come over and help me deal with it. Oy.

17 degrees!

Are you kidding me? That's the projected low tonight. Ugh, miserable. Is Mother Nature trying to kill me? Oh, well, I will certainly be prepared. I dug up yet another blanket for tonight so I should be good to go. The funny thing is that underneath all those covers, it's so difficult to toss and turn so I end up remaining in the same position that I first fall asleep in. Frankly, it's too much work and requires too much conscious effort and thought to wiggle around like I usually do. Hopefully I won't wake up with too many aches and pains.

Tonight I made a very lame soup with chicken stock, onions, garlic and some leftover country style pork ribs, nothing fancy, but somewhat tasty, but I ate it up as it certainly has warmed my core. This afternoon I ate a whole can of green beans. I sauteed a can of french cut green beans, some onion, garlic, butter, salt and pepper. YUM and it was only 14g of carbs, 7g of which were fiber. I love green beans, so delicious. I am working on my last 32 oz of water for the day which kind of sucks because it means I'll be up around 3 in the morning hitting the bathroom, but at least I got my water in.

I found the tennis center near my house that has the tennis lessons. $45 for a six lessons, then I think it's like a couple bucks to use one of the courts for an hour at a time throughout the week when I want. Awesome, I can't wait. The only thing that concerns me is my knees. I've got a trick left knee and I don't want to hurt myself, plus I haven't been known to be the most agile person in the world. I'm hoping it's something I can work up to.

Woo-hoo!

I'm so freakin' excited! I got my first tennis racket and I love it! BP gave it to me and she'll get me started on my way. She has to put a damper on it and a new grip as I have big hands. There is a big tennis center around here somewhere where for a few bucks I can go take lessons. Yea! I'm pretty excited about that! Then on Monday, I start my Couch to 5K training so hopefully I can run my first 5K of the year sometime in late February/March. Awesomeness abounds!

I was at BP's for dinner last night where we enjoyed leg of lamb, potatoes, green beans and some kind of multi-grain bread. I ate mostly green beans, a few potatoes and a 1/2 slice of whole grain bread. I had a few bites of the lamb, but I'm not a fan. I've tried it 3 or 4 times now and I don't like it all that much, kinda tastes like beef, but not quite which sort of squicks me out. After dinner, we went over our business plan update and looked at some more finalized numbers of how well we did in 2007. She is the one that gave me the racket and I'm hoping to be on the tennis court Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

I am down to 270.8 lbs this morning. Yesterday was a real inconsistent day for me. I was so sleepy for most of it and couldn't bring myself to eat enough protein or drink enough water. Needless to say, I went to bed early last night and was knocked out clear to 7 AM this morning where I had to hit the ground running. Last night was so damn cold, it was unbelievable. The previous night was a fitful one because I couldn't get really warm. I usually sleep in a t-shirt and shorts, but I have a sheet, a duvet, a thick comforter, a regular blanket and then a fleece blanket on top of that and for some reason, I wasn't warm. Now, I hate sleeping in a lot of clothes, but last night I had to. I wore thick socks, sweatpants, a t-shirt and a fleece pullover plus all the blankets and covers and was finally warm enough. I also turned the heat on to about 70 degrees. It's been over a year since my iron infusion, it may be time to see the Hematologist for a checkup. The high today is only in the 30's and tonight it's supposed to drop to 18 degrees. God help me!

Yaaaaaawnnnn!!!

Boy am I pooped! Last night was fun, saw some folks who hadn't seen me in a few years, probably like 5 or 6. The blank stare of non-recognition never gets old! Anyway, I had to rush home around 1:30 AM to take care of some business stuff and didn't get to bed til around 3:30 AM THEN I had to get up around 8:45 AM because I had to reboot our server as something was hung up and I've been up ever since. I ate like 900 chicken wings last night, they were gooood. Unlike most folks, I like the flats better than the drumsticks so I was able to eat a lot of them. Yum. No alcohol and no carbs, but not enough water.

My schedule is kind of whacked today. I'm working on my first meal of the day when usually I'm on my 2nd by now. Weight this morning was 273.8 lbs which is to be expected given all chicken I ate and how late I ate it. No biggie, I know it will resolve itself in a couple of days. Remember that dinner I thought I could ditch? Well, I can't AND I have to bring a dessert. Sigh. I'm not baking anything though, I'll just go to Publix or Kroger and pick something up. After tonight, the holidays are officially over! Yea! Back to normal. Thank God.

One of my goals/ambitions for 2008 is to have greater patience with my business partner, but I may change that to be a little broader. What I need to work on is giving her the benefit of the doubt. We've both have made changes in how we deal with each other and are both trying to make personal improvements and I shouldn't always think the worst of her and I shouldn't be so quick to judge or get angry/annoyed. I truly think we can have a much better working relationship and possibly even a decent friendship somewhere down the road, but I know it'll take some work to get from A to B to C with her.

Yeah well, nap time for me.