Flight

Well, my flight is all booked and I am having my tickets Fedexed to me. I want them in my hands as soon as friggin possible. I had to pause a minute before I hit that "complete order" button when I purchasing my tickets online. Every little act, every task I complete that brings me closer to getting this surgery fills me with more and more excitement and more and more nervousness.

I talked to two of my sisters over the weekend and they are just kick ass all around. They give me such great support and love and certainly take a lot of my fear away. It just fills me with such joy to know that they are rooting for me 100% and can't wait for all the good changes to take place. The word is getting around the family and I've started to get emails and notes of support. It's so awesome, it really reminds me of when I got accepted to my school of choice and was preparing to leave the nest. I was taking a step that very few people in my family had taken and I really feel like both situations are very similar.

My business partner has been awesome as well. I gotta give her her props. She's been really supportive and I dig that about her. Unfortunately she won't be going with me, but her daughter at least is. Her daughter works for our company and we get along fabulously. She won't be there the whole trip, but will be there surgery week and will stay until a few days after I'm discharged. I'll be on my own for a week or so after she leaves, but I'm really looking forward to seeing Brazil and will always have my camera close at hand. Not to mention the tons of souvenirs I have to buy, good grief!

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good. I still have a ton of stuff to do and I've been spending as much time as I can learning as much as I can about pre and post op preparation. I don't want to catch myself clueless at any point. That would suck.

Possibilities

Since I got my surgery date, I filled with the possibilities of possibilities. I can't help but wonder what the other side will feel/be/sound/taste like, y'know? I'm so ready for this it is just a matter of doing the things I need to do in order to make it happen, and believe you me, there is tons to do.

A year from now, my life will be completely different, hopefully "good" different. I'm sure there will plenty of things and situations that I can't even fathom right now, but the best thing I can do is just be level headed and pray to God to give me the words and show me the steps. In a year, I will be putting the finishing touches for my mini-vacation to see my college football team take the field for the first game of their championship season. I'll be making flight arrangements and not worrying about whether I can fit in the seats. I'll already have my game ticket in hand knowing that I won't have to incovenience my fellow gamewatchers with my size. I will be excited about walking around campus all day, visiting a half dozen tailgate sites and not feeling like I have to stay close to the stadium because I might get too tired. I'll have no problem jumping up and down when my team scores and hugging random people because we won the game. Most importantly, I will be spending an unholy amount of money on college gear, everything from t-shirts, to jerseys to hats, sweatshirts, to shorts and everything in between because I CAN FIT IT. Finally! I can show my college pride with impunity like I have always wanted to.

In a year and a couple of months, I'll be heading home to Texas for a family reunion and will see all my family members and their reactions to me. I'll be able to run around with my nieces and nephews, take them to the park, chase them around the backyard with water guns. I'll be able to share clothes with my sisters and try on some of my mothers 50 million pairs of shoes. I will actually be in some of the family pictures happily instead of the one or two I allow myself to be in. I won't hide behind the camera.

I'm not expecting miracles, but I do want to be much healthier, have more energy (#1 on my list) and be filled with opportunity. I just want my chance, if I had to sum it up into the one big thing I want out of this surgery, I want my chance.

August 30, 2006

Holy Crap. That's my surgery date. Thank you God! I found myself dancing the jig. Holy crap. It is all real for me, just now, just this second. I think I just might cry ... or laugh or vomit. That's probably overreacting, but I can't help it. This is a huge deal.

Good grief. I am planning on leaving on the 25th of August and returning on the 14th of September. Geez, that's only 29 days away! Woo-hoo!

I have so much to do by then. Yikes!

Support

My support group meets tomorrow and boy am I ready for it. In fact, I was ready for it a week after the last one.

Sick

Good grief. My long weekend sucked. Not only did I not go anywhere or eat *any* bbq, I got really sick on the 4th and spent much of that day and the following with a combo headache/sinus problem nightmare. Not fun.

Anyway, I finally, finally got all my loan paperwork in, they kept requesting more and more info, I guess because I work for a startup and have only lived in this house for 2 years. Hopefully, I'll get the approval this Monday. This whole thing is a bit nervewracking because when I get this loan, then it'll be real. There won't be any obstacles to me getting the surgery, it'll just be a matter of me getting all the things done that I need to get done. Speaking of, I got my lab results from the tests I took Monday. Most everything was looking pretty good, at least for me anyway. My iron is low (big surprise...not). I must admit to not being as diligent as I could be, but I promise to be better. My cholestrol was high, but really only my LDL was high. My HDL is a solid 47 (I need to start going back on Fish Oil), my triglycerides are 81 (which I think is pretty darn good) and my LDL is 140. I need to definitely work on that.

I'm taking this weekend off. I've been working nonstop, at least 12 hours a day for like 3 months and I'm what you'd call a little burned the heck out. Today, I'm going to take a little me time. I'll let you know how it goes.

Ouch

So let’s add one item to the list of 100 things to look forward to when I lose all my excess weight. Somewhere near the top is to be able to have my blood taken without the dang nurse having to gouge my arm. Man, my arm hurts like hell. Now, I’m no baby, but she got me good and I let out a little “ouch” but I couldn’t help it. I am just reminding myself that in a year or two, this won’t be a problem, in the meantime, I’m gonna whine.

One quick thing. Good luck to my friend Kim over at willsheloseit.blogs.com, she's running the 10K Peachtree Road Race here in Atlanta. Go get your shirt, girl!