31 December 2006

20 Things for 2007

  1. Attain a 95% success rate of maintaining my healthy lifestyle.
    Consistency is key for me, but I still want to allow myself some breaks for special occasions like my birthday and Christmas. My healthy lifestyle is defined as follows: 120 grams of protein a day, 120 oz of non-carbonated, sugar-free liquid a day, all supplements & vitamins and exercise 5-6 times a week.
    Not quite. Somethings I did okay with (protein), others, not so much (exercise).
  2. Buy a new digital SLR camera.
    My baby (Sony F717) kicked the bucket a week ago and it's soon time to buy a new one. I need to make a decision on which one I want and make the purchase.
    Done!
  3. Buy an old film camera and learn how to use it.
    This will help me learn how the technical skills of a photographer instead of always letting my digital camera do all the work.
    I did not buy the old camera, but I did make efforts to shoot in manual mode with my new camera. The ultimate goal was to improve my technical skills and I think I did that.
  4. Finish 5 home improvement projects.
    For far too long, I've been treating my house like an apartment. It doesn't feel cozy to me just yet. My goal is to complete 5 home improvement projects that will help make my house feel like home. Currently, I thinking about fully decorating the guest room, start on the wall of photos in the family room and hanging some shelves in the master bedroom.
    I did 2 projects, my master bathroom and the photo wall.
  5. Complete a 5K walk.
    My goal in 2008 is to complete the famed Peachtree Road Race and I need to first take some baby steps in order to get there. The idea is to get my first "race" experience, regardless of how small it is.
    Done! I exceeded my goal. I walked the US 10K Classic on Labor Day!
  6. Start weight training.
    Self explanatory. I need to, at some point in 2007, start working on maintaining muscle strength.
    Not so much.
  7. Complete 3 photo books.
    These are mostly family related projects, but I want to put together a couple of books for the siblings I lost in 2006, mostly for their children and grandchildren. Hopefully these can be done before our family reunion.
    Not so much.
  8. Attend a football game at my alma mater AND buy and wear "The Shirt".
    Probably the thing I am most looking forward to in 2007. I love college football and needless to say, my alma mater is my favorite team. Attending a game is so much fun. "The Shirt" is a fundraising t-shirt the student government sells in order to raise funds for all the student groups. Traditionally all the students and many alumni buy "The Shirt" and wear it to all the football games in order to promote unity. I've never been able to wear "The Shirt" before and I can't wait to.
    I'm actually glad I didn't go as my team sucked all season, I pretty much swapped this trip for the Barbados trip.
  9. Fit in an airplane seat AND not use an extension.
    I'll be flying as early as June and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to comfortably fit in seat and not be totally stressed out by the whole experience.
    Done! Three trips this year AND I was able to put the tray table down! AWESOME!
  10. Buy a swimsuit and go swimming.
    I LOVE swimming and to be able to feel somewhat comfortable in a suit and swim again would be divine.
    I swam in the ocean in Barbados, however it wasn't in a formal swimsuit!
  11. Learn to play 3 new complete songs on my piano.
    I miss being musically inclined and want to get back into it.
    Not so much.
  12. Learn to play tennis and join a team.
    This is to mix up the exercise routine a little bit as well as force myself to be more social. My business partner loves tennis so I know she'll be happy to help me learn.
    Pushed to 2008
  13. Ride a rollercoaster.
    How wonderful would it be to fit on the rides?
    Pushed to 2008. This was a premature goal for 2007, I don't think I was small enough, but Spring/Summer 2008 should be no problem.
  14. Establish a better relationship with my brother J.
    J and I were very close growing up and have since grown apart. I want to re-establish a good relationship with him because I miss him so much.
    Done!
  15. Reconnect with my old friends in town.
    Since starting a business in 2005, I've all but abandoned my old friends putting the business before them. I totally regret that so I am going to working pretty hard to reconnect with them.
    Done!
  16. Start dating again.
    I hope to start seeing a cute boy somewhere...somehow.
    Pushed to 2008. I think this was premature as well.
  17. Make improvements to the DS Lab Rat site.
    I have some ideas about this site and want to implement them to make it even more useful and user-friendly.
    Done.
  18. Visit my sister in St. Louis.
    I've backed out twice in the past year and I just need to go ahead and make the trip.
    Pushed to 2008. We decided to rent a beach house in Destin in 2008 instead.
  19. Join a club/group/organization.
    Another thing to force me to be more social.
    Done!
  20. Improve my cooking skills.
    I'm worried that if I don't try to include more interesting things in my diet then I might get a little apathetic. So I need to experiment with different foods to switch things up. This may entail taking a cooking class or two.
    Done!

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Four Months

Today I did something I thought I'd never really do. I exercised in the rain. It's been a steady drizzle all morning and I had no intentions of getting out there when I first noticed the weather. After thinking about it though, I decided I needed to go. Why? I have never admitted this to anyone, but I have this secret desire to be an athlete. I used to love those Nike 'Just Do It' commercials. I wanted that to me. I wanted to be that woman jogging in the rain or that kid shooting hoops for hours on end. I wanted to have that kind of commitment to do what it takes to get it done, to accomplish that goal. I get a taste of that when I walk. I know what it's like to do something physical, push yourself and get better. I remember the first time I walked. I did a loop around the course, I had to stop twice and it took me 25 minutes. Today, I can do it in 15, no problem. I have a goal of running the Peachtree Road Race. I know it won't happen by July 2007, but I have my eyes set on 2008. Yesterday I walked 2.15 miles in 45 minutes and I felt great.

Going out today for me was like graduating to another level of commitment and acceptance of this new way of life. There just aren't too many excuses that are worth not just doing it. I hit my fourth month mark yesterday and I'm happy to reach this milestone, but disappointed that my weight is up to 419.4. I know why it's up, I really had a lazy last two weeks, from pretty much when I hit 416.6 to about a couple of days ago. I wasn't eating crap with abandon, but I wasn't making sure I was getting enough protein and water, I wasn't exercising, all that kind of stuff. My reward is virtually no weight loss and in fact some weight gain. Boy that pisses me off to no end. I tell you what, that's the last time I do that crap. I should be like 10-15 lbs lighter. Grrrrr. All I can hope is that it's water weight and it will fall off in the next week or so. I've learned my lesson for sure. It sucks cuz I will only be able to put down a 13-14 lb loss for month 4 when it should have been like 20-25. Well, at least the January numbers will be spectacular (I hope).

I just found out our family reunion next year will be in June instead of October. Yikes! That means I'll have to get on a plane a helluva lot sooner than I had kinda wanted. I had already decided not to go to my college reunion and instead stay in town when my best friend visits. I still, however, have the game in September to go to. Anyway, I'd love to lose another 100 lbs by my family reunion. I told my sister that I'd fly to Dallas a few days beforehand so that we can do some pre-reunion shopping. Thank God! The only other clothes shopping I plan to do is for my birthday in February.

I'm getting pretty darn close to saying buh-bye to the 400's. I'm pretty excited by that prospect, believe you me. Like I've mentioned before I'm getting past the weight range where I have spent a considerable amount of time so I'm headed into no man's land, so to speak. Seeing the scale drop down 400 will be huge for me as well as seeing it move past 370...the lowest I've been in God only knows how long and I was only at 370 for like a day. I would love to see that by my birthday, but I dunno. We'll see.

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR'S y'all!!! Be safe and I'll be posting my goals for 2007 sometime later today!

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28 December 2006

Confession Time

I have to make a confession. I think I lucked out with my 100 lb weight loss mark being around the holidays. To be frank, this loss freaked me out just a little bit. Here's the deal, I'm kinda scared of what's to come. Why? Because if nothing else, being fat was somewhat emotionally comfortable, something I was well-versed dealing with. I didn't like it, but I knew how to deal with it. As I lose weight and start looking and feeling different, I feel a certain amount of anxiety creeping up. It's that whole fear of success nonsense going on. Over the last two weeks I have been made very clear about how much different I look, even so much so that a couple of my cousins didn't immediately recognize me (for the record, I'm calling bullshit on that, but that's another story). Anyway, I found myself not being as compliant as I could be, maybe enjoying the holidays a little too much. Today was the first day I walked in over a week and yesterday was the first day I had a really clean food day. I feel constipated, bloated, I have edema in my legs and my weight is up. I'm not too happy right now, but at least I am fixing it.

What's going on? I really felt I was dangling my big toe on the slippery slope of sabotaging myself. Luckily, I didn't go all out. The few times I had a roasted potato or a Christmas cookie, I felt the wrath later on so that was a huge deterrent, but I know I had a little bit of something everyday. The worst was when I had lasagna for dinner one night at a friend's house. None of it made me feel good. Most of it tasted good, but all I could think about was the gas/diarrhea that was soon to come. That kinda kills the enjoyment. I tell ya what though, I feel better when I eat right. Big shock, I know, but it's at these times where things start to really solidify for me, shit, I at least I hope so. A lot of this is still new. I've never lost this weight before, I've never had this attention before, I've never been confronted with the possibility of true success. That's freaking scary.

Anyway, I'm happy things are back to normal. I don't anticipate any New Year's Day festivities. I'm contemplating making some ribs in my Nesco. Typically it's black eyed peas, but I think I'm going another route. On my walk today, which I extended by the way, I thought a lot about New Year's resolutions and I have decided to try to do 20-50 small things this year, only a few of them weight loss related. I figure it'll be much more manageable than one or two giant resolutions and it'll give me the opportunity to maybe do some things I wouldn't normally do. A couple of things that come to mind are to do a 5K walk, buy & wear a bathing suit, go swimming at the Y (at least once), paint my living room, complete 3 photo books, buy a new camera, finish the guest bedroom. Stuff like that. I'll compile a list and post it here. As far as weight loss is concerned, I'll hit my one year mark in August and I hope to be 225 lbs by this time next year. That's really my only weight loss goal. I want to continue walking, I have no delusions about that transitioning into running. I don't know about all that, but we'll see.

I hate admitting that I haven't been a good little DSer, but I guess I am just normal and need to just do the best I can. That's all I can do.

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26 December 2006

Post-Holiday Reflections

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I did. Not too many gifts and such, but great, great company and good food (kinda). In fact, the past couple of days have been absolutely wonderful, low stress and I really enjoyed all the people I spent time with. No complaints on my end. I admit to partaking of some Christmast food a bit some in the past few days, but surprisingly, most of the "good stuff" ie stuff I don't usually eat didn't give me the satisfaction that I thought it might. I thought that the small slivers of pie and yule log would feel like an indulgence, but not so much. It didn't taste bad, but the instagas was definitely not pleasant and the diarrhea later in the middle of the night wasn't fun. The biggest thing, however is that I don't feel like my normal self. I feel sluggish and weighted down. Ugh. Not surprisingly, my weight is way up, 418.2. Crap. Literally, I know it's poop. I've got that constipated feeling. Needless to say, it's back to basics for me. I know that carbs and sweets and stuff are not things that I really want. I had my holiday fun and I'm done. Honestly, I didn't even indulge that much. Looking at certain things and realizing what the gastrointestinal consequences were going to be made me think twice about how much I thought I wanted something.

I'll tell you what though, I REALLY enjoyed two things the most about this holiday season. One, I took great delight in how people reacted to me. Freakin' awesome and the best part was that I felt really comfortable in my own skin. Christmas Eve I was at a friend's house helping her wrap the 50 million gifts for her daughter and in one of her bedrooms, the closet doors are covered in mirrors and I looked at myself and was not horrified at what I saw. I thought I looked pretty good and could definitely tell I lost a lot of weight. The second thing was that I felt like I could get around so much easier. Often in the past, I would find myself a seat and keep my ass there for the duration of the festivities, but not so this time around. I felt like a participant and not just an observer.

Overall, good times, but am glad Christmas is over. I am really ready for things to get back to normal. One quick thing about the iron infusion the other day. I can't say I feel any better, especially since I haven't been eating as well as I should have, but am hoping that now since I am back in my normal routine and hopefully will be soon shedding this carb fog that I will be able to feel a difference. I noticed that I do feel warmer and am not constantly freezing, so maybe that's something. Dunno.

24 December 2006

Par-tay

I had a pretty decent time at the Christmas Party I went to last night, much more than I expected actually. This party was a family one, mostly my dad's side of the family which I don't know as well as my moms. They are a large bunch, a good 30-40 people attended and it was lively. This was the first time many of them had seen me since I had the surgery and many were surprised at the results and I did get a few questions about it, but nothing major. I did find out that my cousin had had the RNY a few years ago (I had no idea, I honestly thought he had lost the weight on his own), but has gained much of the weight back. A few people expressed that concern to me and I just mentioned that I had a different surgery.

The food was great. All I had was a couple of slices of turkey sausage off the meat/cheese/cracker tray, some honey baked ham and two lemon pepper chicked wings and I was pretty much stuffed. I also had a cup of orange/pineapple juice cocktail, non-alcoholic but carbonated, my first since surgery. All in all, a good night. I did get a surprising amount of candy as gifts so I'll be passing that on.

I gotta say, I looked awfully cute. I got dressed up and wore some clothes I hadn't worn in awhile. I wore a long dark blue jean skirt and a festive blouse. My hair, for once, was behaving properly and looked quite nice. I felt good and comfortable in my clothes which is honestly a rare thing. Usually when I dress up, I don't feel comfortable at all, typically I feel stuffed or crammed in my clothing, but not tonight. I felt, dare I say, breezy. That was marvelous in and of itself. The only major bummer about the whole day was that my beloved camera broke and I am quite depressed. I've had that camera for 3 years and we've been through a lot. I think I've taken like 10,000 pictures with it. I don't know if it can be fixed or not or how much it'll cost. I may have to move my time table up for purchase of a new one. Ugh.

Today, gotta another party to go to, however, it is much more low key and I shouldn't be there long. Gotta bake another batch of cookies. I do have to make sure I complete a couple of errands as the shops close early and will be closed all day Monday.

Weight wise, I am holding steady around 414. I have to admit to indulging in some holiday fare, but thankfully, not as much as I feared. I find that my body craves protein a lot and not so much the other stuff so that's good. Hopefully as soon as Monday passes, things will be back to normal. I'm certainly looking forward to it.

22 December 2006

Infusion

I was up at 6:00 AM this morning totally nervous about my 9:00 AM appointment at the hematologist's office to do my iron infusion. Overall it was a pretty good experience. I got to the North Georgia Oncology Center around 8:30 AM (I hate being late) and was quickly wisked away to an exam room. They took my temp (97.6) and my blood pressure (132/80 - woo-hoo!!!!) and I waited for the doc. I talked to him about what's been going on in the past year, the DS and what that entails. He explained what would be happening that day and then I was wisked away to the infusion room. Let me pause here for a moment. The staff there were incredibly awesome (one of 'em said I look 19 years old) and I know its for a reason. The vast majority of their patients are people fighting for their very lives. They are giving it all they got and I certainly got a real sense of that. I kinda felt out of place, y'know. Here are all these people going through so much and here I am with a freakin' low iron problem. It was a very somber, yet hopeful kind of atmosphere. I didn't really talk to anyone in depth besides one of the nurses who was setting me up. I told her about the DS I had, how much I had lost and she really made me feel at ease as well as allow me to look at this in a different light. In some small way, I am fighting for my life as well. Clearly not to the depths as all the cancer patients, but I truly believe that had I not had the DS nor had any intentions of getting surgery, I would never have the chance to see 35. I really feel that way. So maybe my fight is not as desperate, but the consequences of losing the fight are much the same. Needless to say, just being in that room was a very humbling experience and very much a blessing.

The infusion process itself was really easy. I got a dose of Benadryl and Tylenol as well as some kind of steroid to stave off any allergic reactions to the Iron. I'm not prone to have allergic reactions to stuff (thank God). After the steroids via IV. I was put on saline for 30 minutes. Then the nurse came back to give me a test dosage of iron to see if I had any negative reactions. I did not then I think it was another 20-30 mins of saline before the big bag. By this time, the Benadryl was hitting me full force and I was sleepy and starting to doze off. Finally, the nurse came back with the big bag of iron which looks very much like a very dark tea or very rusty water. For some reason, I thought it'd be green. Anyway, I started on that and I wanna say that took maybe an hour and a half, I don't think it took the two hours she said it would take. After the bag, then more saline to flush out the line and I was free to go. Piece of cake. I don't really feel any different. Even now, well past 6:00 PM, I still feel the effects of the Benadryl. Needless to say, it's gonna be a short night for me.

Well, the doc said this infusion should last 6-12 months, but I return in 2 months to get everything checked out. He also mentioned that I would probably need a B-12 shot, but I don't know about all that. I think RNY-ers need that crap, not me. I'll have to do some more digging about that. I'm pretty sure I don't need it.

I have two more Christmas/Holiday parties to attend and then I can relax a little. I have to bake some cookies to bring for both of them so I kept it simple. I bought some pull apart sugar cookie dough and some Hershey's kisses. Gonna put the kisses in the cookies to bake. For a good 2.2 seconds I contemplated baking some sweet potato pies, but man, that's too much work. The cookies will have to do!

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19 December 2006

Just for fun.

A- Available or single? Single, hopefully not forever

B- Best Friend? Yes, three.

C- Cake or pie? Pie. More specific? Lemon meringue. Lemon chess. Apple crumb.

D- Drink of choice? Iced water.

E- Essential item I use every day.
My computer.

F- Favorite color: Blue.

G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms? Gummy Bears.

H- Hometown? A border town in Texas.

I- Indulgence: Long nap.

J- January or February? February. Birth month.

K- Kids and names: No kids yet.

L- Life is incomplete without?
Love and family (however one defines family).

M- Marriage date:
Dunno.

N- Number of siblings: 17, not all related by blood.

O- Oranges or apples? Oranges.

P- Phobias or fears? Insects, drowning.

Q- Favorite quote? "Thought is creative. Fear attracts like energy. Love is all there is." - God

R- Reasons to smile: Too many to list them all but the top 3 are my family, my friends, the DS and my sense of hopefulness.

S- Season: Autumn (college football season) :)

T- Tag 3 or 4 people. Ugh.

U- Unknown fact about me: I don't like milk.

V- Vegetable you don’t like: Peas (barf)

W- Worst habit: Forgetting stuff I don't write down.

X- X-Rays: What?

Y- Your favorite food? Cheese & onion enchiladas.

Z- Zodiac: Pisces

17 December 2006

Hungry

I had a good day yesterday. I didn't do any celebrating or anything. Just took some progress photos (as you can see) and enjoyed a pretty mellow day. I have a confession to make. I'm not in much in a Christmas spirit. I'm no Grinch, but it just doesn't really feel like Christmas to me. Brazil really wiped out all my financial reserves so I am only doing one or two gifts this year. I already got the Christmas gift of a lifetime (DS) so I'm content either way.

Yesterday was another case of hollow leg syndrome. Hungry all day long and I ate and ate, not the best of foods either. It was still low carb, but not the best food choices, quite a bit of processed foods. It was my first day over 2000 calories, 177 grams of protein which means there was quite a bit of fat which I am paying for now, although I did weigh in at 416.0 this morning so go figure.

I talked to the hematologist's office late last week and I am scheduled for iron therapy Friday morning. That's 3 days before Christmas. She said be prepared to stay for 5 hours. Yikes. I have to call in Monday to see if I will be able to eat/drink during that amount of time. I can't go five hours without eating or drinking something. And God help me if I have to poop.

16 December 2006

:)

15 December 2006

Better

I took myself a little nap today. Okay, okay. I took two, but I needed them. I'm not sure what is going on with my innards. I have never felt like that previously and am a tad concerned. All seems to be well now though. There are a few rumblings going on, but nothing major. I'm going to keep my food simple for the rest of the day and probably tomorrow. Nothing crazy.

My plan for the evening is to just finish up the project I've been working on (regardless of how long it takes) and take the weekend to clean my house thoroughly and find some dang clothes to wear. There's gotta be something in that closet of mine. I might also go do a little Christmas shopping.

We'll see.

Stomach Cramps?!? WTF???

Oh. My. God. Someone please tell me what the heck is going on. Y'know I've run the gamut of DS ailments in the last three and a half months. You name it, I've probably experienced it. Today, however, I've been experiencing something completely new. Horrible, and I mean, horrible stomach cramps. Good God Almighty. It feels like I'm digesting shards of glass. They hurt so bad, I was actually getting dizzy and had to go sit down. Oy. I have no idea what brought this on. The only thing new to my diet is some pre-cooked breakfast sausage and I ate those yesterday afternoon. Boy does this suck. My innards feel sore.

Well, I am down to 417 as of this morning. A mere 0.4 lbs before I can join the century club. 99.6 lbs lost. I can round up, right? ;) I don't even care about that right now. That's totally a lie. I should say I'm not as excited because of all the doubling over I'm doing. The cramps lessened in the last hour or so so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. They are making it impossible to get my protein in.

On a related note. I am swimming in my clothes. My bras are too big. My pants look ridiculous. Time to dig through the boxes of clothes I haven't worn in years to find something to wear. I'll do that this weekend. I am supposed to go to this huge family Christmas thing on the 23rd and I have to look pretty. I want to look pretty.

I have nothing to wear. It seems like I've slimmed down a lot in the last 2-3 weeks or at least I am noticing it more. It's a good thing. Boy, I can't wait for what the next 100.4 lbs will do.

14 December 2006

Busy, busy, busy

I had an unusually fun-filled morning. <snort>. Surprisingly, I felt really good this morning, nothing like how I felt yesterday. Weirdness. I think part of my crappiness yesterday was not having ate enough consistently and not getting enough sleep. Believe you me, I am thanking the heavens above that I do NOT have the flu or any other such nonsense. I got up and went on my walk this morning when I get a phone call from Business Partner bitchin about her computer not working for one reason or another. Last time I checked, my name ain't Tech Support and I hate it when she does that because I'm no expert. I'm a software person, programmer, I know very little about desktop support issues. So I eventually promise to head over there after my walk. I get there and immediately have to eat cus I'm starving and then proceed to do all kinds of other crap besides fix her dang computer. I guess my mere presence caused it to work all of a sudden. Sigh. Anyway, I left with a new photography project I gotta do and a stomach full of Honey Baked Ham (man, I love that stuff). As I was walking out her house, she has this full length mirror in one of the bedrooms, so I stopped in to check myself out. Geez. I look thinner. Needless to say, there ain't nary a full-length in my house so I never get that view of myself. I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised.

I haven't gotten any work done today and it's pushing 4:00 pm which means I'll have to work through the evening. Oh well, I least I feel better.

So, great news! I weighed in at 417.8 lbs this morning. A-woo-hoo. Just 1.2 lbs away. Holy crap! When it happens I feel like I should cry or celebrate or something. I dunno, nothing comes to mind. Ideas?

13 December 2006

2002

In my neverending quest to not actually get any work done today, I took a trip down memory lane. For some odd reason, I went back to visit some of the old diet sites I used to frequent when I was struggling (in vain) to lose weight and keep it off. Frankly it was quite depressing. I happened upon a profile I had way back in freaking 2002. In it I write about feeling wonderful at having lost 42 lbs and weighing 398 lbs. This was in early November 2002, long story short over the next 3 years or so, I fail, start over, fail and start over again and again all the while gaining over 100 lbs. Dang. God only knows where I would be had I not been able to get the duodenal switch. God only knows.

I am so incredibly humbled. I don't ever want to have to live through that crap again. It is no fun. It's funny because I work at my health as much as I worked on my health back then, probably more. Anyone who says I took the easy way by having surgery is out of their mind. My health and weight loss has been an all consuming siege on my life. It's an all day, every day commitment and there is nothing easy about it, but oh God, it's worth it. In fact the consequences for not being on plan and not following my doctor's directives are far more dire than when I was just low-carbing. Technically I could have gone on a two week carb bender back in the day and immediately got back on track, the only damage maybe being a few pounds gain. I can't go two weeks without getting in my protein and water, hell I can't go two waking hours. I'd probably be in dire straits. Conversely, a cheat back then could easily derail all my efforts, all I get for a "cheat" nowadays is wicked gas and diarrhea, although as it turns out, it's enough to kill any thoughts I have of cheating. Needless to say, loosies are no fun.

I have no intentions of visiting those sites anymore. They just don't represent my reality and my life now. Things are so much different and so much better. The most important thing is that I don't have to be perfect. Many of my diets in the past required absolute perfection and I'm human, I couldn't do it. I had a tablespoon of mashed potatoes with my pork tenderloin last Saturday night. I could have never have done that when I was lowcarbing and if I did (1) I'd be wrought with guilt and (2) it would have given me the perfect excuse to binge at least for the rest of the day, if not week or month. Now, it's totally different. I have little to no desire to consume a lot of the types of things that were my downfall before. Where I would dream about sweets in the past, now it's all about protein. I kid you not. Nothing makes me happier than eating meat. Protein, I love it and when I do want a tablespoon of mashed potatoes, I have it and move the hell on (and pray I don't pay for it later).

I am just so thankful for the DS. I'm starting to really come to grips to the changes it has brought into my life. It's such a blessing to think that some of the things that I had hoped for in my life may actually come true.

Oy Vey

Boy, am I not up to par. I feel like shit. Literally. I am tired. Sleep has been pretty weird lately. I go to bed between 11:00 and 11:30 each night, but lately instead of having solid sleep, most nights, my mind is racing about one thing or another. It's annoying. I think I've gotten maybe 2 or 3 good nights sleep in the last two weeks and I think it's catching up to me. My mid-afternoon naps have helped, but not entirely. I didn't go walking this morning, too many stomach/poop issues. I would have been in big trouble had I left the house at my usual hour.

I had a couple of eggs and a slice of cheese for breakfast instead of my usual protein shake and now, unbelievably I am both hungry and repulsed at the thought of eating more food. Oy vey. I guess it doesn't always get easier as time goes on, does it? I know two DSer's who have gotten the flu within the last couple of days and I pray I am not next. That is the last thing I need right now.

I. am. going back to bed for a couple of hours. Yawn.

Yea!

Buh-bye 420's. I weighed in at 419.2. Woo-hoo! It's funny, I spent 25 days in the 430's and only 7 days in the 420's. My weight loss has slowed down a bit since that stellar week I had where I lost like 10 lbs in seven days. That was catch-up weight loss from when I was retaining a ton of water. Anyway, my loss now is around 0.6 - 0.8 lbs a day. Fine by me. I should hit that 100 lb lost mark sometime over the weekend. Woo-hoo!!!

I have a little WOW realization I have to mention. Y'know how you get up from your desk thinking you're going to go do one thing and end up doing another thing totally forgetting about the first thing? Then as soon as you sit down you remember you didn't do that first thing. Well, four months ago, I would have just decided to dismiss the first thing because that would mean having to get up again. Well, now I've noticed that I don't do that anymore. I just get up and go do it. I didn't even notice I was doing that until yesterday. Pretty darn cool.

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12 December 2006

Gurgling & Rumbling

Oh my stomach. I don't feel so good. Lately I haven't been feeling my best. I think the low iron issue is becoming more and more of an issue. For a period of time, I was practically dead to the world requiring 2 naps during waking hours just to get through the day. After awhile I could manage to stay away all day, no problem. Lately? Not so much. I'm usually up around 6:30-7:30 AM everyday and typically will have walked and had my first meal, first round of supplements and first poop by 10:30 AM. By 12:30 pm or 1:00 pm, I headed toward bed with a quickness. It's weird and it's not like I nap for two hours, 45-60 mins later and I'm typically good to go. I just got up from like an hour and 15 min nap and I could totally go back to bed. Luckily, I have my appointment with the hematologist on Monday and will start some kind of iron therapy then.

Coupled with this iron nonsense is a tempermental stomach. I've kept the spices down to a minimum for the past week, but everything is really going through me fast. I think it's that 2nd protein shake that's doing it. It certainly is better than having constipation, but my body is certainly taking it's time in adjusting. I feel a tad bit better today but when your stomach is doing cartwheels and you already feel a little weak/tired, it's hard to be at your best.

Good news is that I weighed in at 420.0 lbs this morning, right on the brink of saying buh-bye to the 420's. How freakin' insane is all of this? I'm a few days away from having lost 100 lbs. I can't even wrap my head around any of it. What does it really mean? In my day-to-day it's seeing the number on the scale get closer and closer to 200 or 175, but what does it mean in practical terms. What does it mean to me? Is it a big deal? Should I celebrate? I have no freakin' idea. On one hand it's like "One hundred pounds? Yeah, whatever, come see me when it's 200 or 300?" On the other hand it's like "Holy shit! I lost 100 lbs!!! I've never done that in all my living life, wooo-hoooo!!!"

You know, in all this time, all 3 1/2 months, I don't think I really truly believed the DS would work for me. I just didn't and now that I see that it might actually be working, I find myself having to re-evaluate my thinking. I remember early on in the process lamenting whether or not I could ever be skinny. After spending a lifetime of being anything but and not having any frame of reference for thinness, I just could not internalize what that could mean. I can certainly internalize and verbalize not wanting to be fat anymore, but that does not translate into really holding on to thinness. I have no idea what that's like and now the possibility is slowly, but surely, becoming a reality. I am losing weight and fast. As much as I like to proclaim that I don't see a lot of changes, the fact of the matter is I can't keep saying that for long. I look different to myself now and I sure as hell move different. I don't have to think twice about getting up from a chair, out of bed or off the sofa. The fact that my butt continues to hurt sitting in this chair is a testament to that fact.

Anyone who has NEVER been thin, knows what I mean and many of my fellow DSer's know this. It is a trip. So bear with me people. We've heard it a million times, they operate on our bodies, not our minds. Mine is still struggling to catch up. What will be really crazy is they say months 4-6 are when you really start looking different. Holy crap........... I can't wait.

One last thing, my girl Kim is having plastic surgery today. I'm sending up prayers and good vibes for a successful surgery and quick recovery. Also Deluzy is celebrating her one year anniversary today. Congratulations!

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11 December 2006

Like A Rock

I must have been mentally/emotionally exhausted because I remember turning off the light to go to sleep last night and the next thing I remember is waking up. It seems like a mere minutes had passed instead of 8 hours. I guess I needed that. I am waiting for my stomach to settle then it's off to the park to walk. I missed it yesterday.

Today I weighed in at 420.6 lbs. That's a grand total of 96.0 lbs lost in a little under 15 weeks. Awesome! Definitely back on track.

10 December 2006

Anxiety

I did not have a great day today. Like I mentioned previously, I had decided that I would go to St. Louis for Christmas. I got up this morning with the goal of buying my ticket, but as I started searching, I realized that most of the direct flights were on these little planes, 50 seaters or less and quite unexpectedly I started to get really emotional about getting on an airplane. I was in tears. Why? I really, really, really do not want to fly. I do not want to get on an airplane right now. I just don't. Completely irrational, but these planes have 1 seat on one side and 2 on the other, I mean they are tiny and I just don't want to go through the anxiety of having to deal with being the big fat woman on a tiny plane. I just don't want to.

I thought that my trip to and from Brazil was going to be my last pride-swallowing, soul-sucking plane trip for at least a year where I could lose a ton of weight and not have to be stressed out anymore about flying anywhere. I was and am still quite shocked at my reaction because I honestly didn't think I felt this way, but when confronted with it, I just couldn't do it, I couldn't buy the ticket and that has bummed me out all day. Y'know I can't say that there have been many things in my adult life that have been truly hurtful and demoralizing when it comes to my weight. But I tell you what, almost all of them have been related to dealing with flying. I'm not going to go into the gory details, but it can be the most difficult thing a morbidly obese person can deal with. I don't ever want to have to do that crap again. Luckily my wonderful sister understood and she will be the first person I go fly to when I'm ready.

Sigh. There was a reason when I talk about the things I look forward to when I am no longer fat I talk about fitting and not having to negotiate my way in the world. I just want to fit, that's all. I don't want to sky-dive or bungie jump, I just want to be normal and not have to ever, ever be embarassed about my weight again. I want to fit in any chair, any airplane seat, any booth, on the floor, at a football game, on a roller coaster, in a sports car. That's all. I'll be perfectly happy when I can do that.

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Whoa

Weighed in at 422.4 lbs this morning. I guess the increase in protein and the exercise are paying off. I am taking the day off from walking, I need to give my hips a rest, but I tell ya, I'm tempted to go out there. It's interesting because when I read messages in some of the DS Yahoo lists or on Obesity Help, I don't read much about how important exercise is or about how people are exercising. It comes up in convo every now and again, but not nearly as much as the other important areas of concern (nutrition, water, supplements). I think the reason is that exercise is no one's favorite thing in the world and with the DS you don't necessary have to do a lot or any exercise to still lose a lot of weight. Honestly, I think if I had solved my protein issue before I started exercising, I might not have started, but I'm shooting for overall health and frankly, I don't want the regret of not having done enough during my "honeymoon phase" to lose as much weight as I could. That, to me, is a worse case scenario. Can you imagine, two years from now, me being over 300 lbs wondering what I need to do to lose the last 100-125 lbs? Ugh, that shit keeps me up at night.

My surgeon's goal for me is 250 by the end of the year and 200 lbs post-plastics soon after. My goal is around 175-185 by the end of year two, then we'll think about plastics. 175-185 may be super skinny for me, but I am allowing for a small regain in the following years, maybe 15-20 lbs so that hopefully I will be able to maintain a healthy weight sub 200 lbs.

Anyway, the photo shoots went pretty well yesterday. The only thing I will say about it is dealing with kids is a challenge. It's funny though how uninterested they are about the whole thing, especially younger kids.

Well, I have tons of work to do and I plan to do all my laundry and clean my whole house today, then it's back to the grind.

09 December 2006

Ouch and Woohoo!

My ass hurts. Good grief. I need a new cushion.

I think I am in love. I went grocery shopping yesterday and came across this small tub of Pulled Pork Barbecue by Clifty Farms. Oh. My. God. So delicious. I love this stuff and it's absolutely wonderful. Like a true southerner, I love me some barbecue and this absolutely makes me happy. It's a little high in sodium, but it's about 18 grams of protein per 3 oz. Yum. It's a nice treat every other day or so.

I had a big surprise when I got on the scale this morning, 424.6 lbs. Wow. 92 lbs lost in 101 days. Early this morning, like around 1 AM, my body was screaming at me to go the bathroom and I swear I peed like a gallon of pee. I was 1/2 asleep, but that is what it definitely felt like. Me thinks that was the last of my water weight. Went on my walk again this morning. Honestly I was gonna skip it since I knew I'd be doing a bunch of running around today, but after getting on the scale, I was motivated to go. I took it a little easy though and didn't get in as many steps as usual although the distance was the same. I think I am going to continue to go everyday til I leave for Christmas vacation since I know I won't be doing much exercising then.

Being the overanalyzing person that I am, I have been religiously tracking my weight in a spreadsheet. Among other things, there are 3 columns that estimate my daily weight anticipating me losing 300, 250 or 200 lbs in a year. Again, this lets me know how on/off track I am. Losing 300 lbs in a year is a total pipe dream and I seriously doubt I'd do it. 250 is Dr. Marchesini's goal for me and I'll be happy with that because I figure I can lose the remaining 50-75 lbs over the course of the next year. The 200 lb would still be satisfactory but a tad disappointing because I'd still have another 100-125 lbs to lose. Anyway as of today, at the 300 lb/yr mark, my weight should be 425.8, the 250 lb/yr mark, 441.9 and the 200 lb/yr mark, 456.1. Needless to say I am happy although a month ago I was averaging like 8 lbs below the 300 lb/yr weight. Like I said, I have zero delusions about losing that much in year, but it's nice to see my actual weight below that number. $20 says that won't be the case a month from now, hell a week from now.

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08 December 2006

Day 100

I got my 3 month lab results back today. Everything looks good except of course for my iron levels. A whopping 8.7. Normal range is 11.5 - 15.0. Wunderbar. I'm not entirely surprised. I've been dealing with low iron for at least 15-16 years. My PCP is insisting I go see the hematologist and get an iron infusion. I saw the guy about a year ago and he wasn't all that helpful so we'll see. The funny thing is that I don't feel the kind of fatigue I usually feel when my iron is that low. I don't know how many of you have experienced such a thing, but it is truly debilitating. It was a major effort to get from bed to couch. I honestly see it as one of the many reasons for my obesity. Hopefully now, I can get a better handle on it.

Today I weighed in at 426.2 lbs. Officially I've lost a total of 90.4 pounds since my highest. Can you believe that? I surely can't. It's been an incredibly journey for sure. I'm only 2 lbs above the weight when I first started the Dr. Atkins Diet for the first time in 2001. Crazy, huh? I remember back near Day 45 or so when I was stressing about whether or not I'd lose any more weight. Good grief. Thank goodness (wink, wink) I've calmed down since then.

I found myself oddly excited about my walk this morning. I guess the anticipation of it being incredibly freakin' cold was a bit too much to take 'cause my ass was up at like 5:45. Ridiculous. I spent a good hour and a half getting some work done before I even got dressed. I actually overcompensated for the cold weather. I wore 2 thick long-sleeved shirts, a sweatshirt and windbreaker and 20 minutes into my walk I was sweating bullets. The windbreaker really retains heat. I only wore my usual jogging pants so by the time I got back to my car I was a mess. From the neck up, frozen. Neck down to my waist line drenched. Waistline down, frozen. Ugh. That debacle left me oddly chilled the rest of the day today. Cross your fingers. I do NOT want to get sick.

As for me and my life right now, things are good. Situations with the family unit are pretty mellow which is exactly what we need. 2006 was such a difficult, difficult year. I haven't mentioned this here but my sister had passed away in January which really crushed everyone. Then our cousin died in July, then of course, our brother passed away just before I left for Brazil. Everyone is still a bit shellshocked and holding onto anything good, which thankfully came in the package of my grandnephew in June, then a nephew, in October. Babies always make things better. Anyway, like I mentioned earlier, I am headed to St. Louis to spend time with my sister. She's my 2nd youngest older sister and we get along grand. Work has been more than bearable and I am actually enjoying doing the work. BP isn't getting on my nerves as much and has actually calmed the !@#$ down, either that or I am able to deal with her better.

I am definitely keeping a tight circle around myself as far as my surgery is concerned. I guess you could call it Star-Jonesing it. Luckily, I haven't had too many questions but I don't anticipate that lasting forever. I am hoping to stay under the radar through the winter and into the spring. I feel like I've already told the people I need to tell.

Tomorrow I am doing two sets of family portraits for two families. I'm crazy nervous about it, but I should do okay as long as I don't try too hard and just do what I do.

07 December 2006

Freezing

Tomorrow morning it's going to be 17 degrees and windy. It'll take all I have to get up and go for my walk. The cold isn't completely foreign to me, I spent my college years up north and I promise you that crap is 100 times worse that what we'll see tomorrow in Atlanta. The big diff is that I had plenty of winter clothes then, not so much now.

Anyway, I've been working on a long post about my experience of getting the Duodenal Switch done with Dr. Marchesini in Brazil. I never really went into in depth, but really want to, for posterity's sake. Look for it soon!

Safety Net

The other night I got a call from a good friend of mine, one of my oldest friends in fact. We both lead pretty busy lives so it's not unusual for us to not talk to each other for months. There is nothing stressful about that and when we do talk, it's like we were never apart. Anyway, he called to let me know that he's engaged, which honestly shocked the hell out of me. He talked a little bit about her and mentioned the fact that he would be moving to where she lived, which also shocked the hell out of me because I always thought he'd stay in the part of the country where he currently is. I bring this up because he is one of those people that I always thought that we could have had something together had I not been overweight. On almost all other levels we click perfectly. I remember this one time a few years ago, the company I worked for in Atlanta sent me up to his city to work for a client on-site for about a week. Not only did we spend every night hanging out, but we even had lunch several times. It was an easy, comfortable and fun time. He even ditched a date for me.

Don't get me wrong, I am really happy for my friend. I am, by no means, pining for him, it's just a little weird that that far fetched possibility is no more. By the way, I didn't mention the surgery and honestly I haven't really told many people. Not even a lot of my friends in town know about it. Un/fortunately I am still in that comfort zone, so to speak, where I am at a weight and size that isn't vastly different than what I have been for the past 6, 7, 8 years. I arrived in Atlanta weighing about 25 lbs less than what I weigh now so I don't need to explain anything to anybody because frankly, they don't know any better. Outside of my family, my business partner, our employees and my best friend, no one knows. I figure I got about 3-4 months of this comfort zone left.

Anyway, he mentioned a September/October wedding and as long as it isn't on my family reunion weekend, I will be attending. That'll definitely be a shock for him and probably quite a few other people as we know a lot of the same folks.

Well, I did my walk today and admittedly, I was struggling. I think my night protein shake is giving me a bit of the runs and so I was a little bit less hydrated this morning than normal. I felt a little sluggish about 3/5 of the way through and had to pace myself during the homestretch. I also noticed that my hips were aching a little bit, I'm guessing maybe because I pushed it quite a bit yesterday, some left over soreness I presume. I did go the whole way though. Overall, not too shabby, I think. According to my pedometer, I walked 38 mins, 3943 steps and 1.45 miles. I'm not sure how accurate that is as I pretty much walked the same distance as I did yesterday. Well, we'll see what tomorrows numbers show. The best thing of all is that I weighed in at 426.8 lbs. Good bye 430's for sure. I noticed the edema in my legs has lessened greatly and hopefully by tomorrow/Saturday I will be back to normal. It's funny/ironic that I had to increase my protein to over 160 grams to start losing weight again. Insane.

Anyway, I am anxiously awaiting my lab results from Monday. Hopefully it is all good news.

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06 December 2006

Buh-Bye

If you could peer through your computer and seen me this morning, you'd see me doing the happy jig. Yes, my friends, it's time to say buh-bye to the 430's. I weighed in this morning at 428.4 lbs. A-woo-hoo!!!! Yesterday, I had around 163 grams of protein and promptly lost almost 2.5 lbs by this morning. I still have some edema, but am hoping that it'll be resolved by the weekend. I didn't switch things up too much, just added a protein drink around 8:30 last night. I drank a full 46 grams instead of 23. Anyway, how freakin' cool is that?!?

Update 9:20 am
I just got back from my walk and I surprised myself. I mentioned yesterday how I increased my distance from around .8 miles to 1.15 miles, well today I increased it again. I walked 1.36 miles (3619 steps) in 37 minutes. I'm pretty darn happy and I wasn't dying like I thought I might. I definitely worked up a little sweat and my glasses were fogging up the last 10 minutes from me working it (and it being so dang cold this AM)! I am going to repeat the same walk for the rest of the week to see if I can get my time down. Next week I want to increase it to 1.50 miles. My dream is to one day, maybe in the spring, do a 5K walk or something. That would be cool.

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05 December 2006

Pet Project

So I've just completed the first phase of a little project I've been working on. Anyone who frequents the OH DS boards is very familiar with the Lab Rat Data. If you're not, it was basically a spreadsheet that was painstakingly updated by hand that had all kinds of interesting information about the progress of dozens of DS'ers. Recently the project as it was became too big and a change was in order. I volunteered to build a database driven application and I just now finished it. You can find it here:

http://www.epursimuove.com/ds/.

I will eventually get a proper domain name for it, but for now this will do.

I'm pretty excited and I think people like it. I know there will be a Phase II for this thing as you can clearly see how problematic it'll become when the number of profiles starts to creep up. In the meantime, feel free to add a profile and peruse others.

Anyway, a confession I've been holding onto for days: I really, really like my walks. I never thought I would, but I honestly do. It's the one thing I really look forward to doing every day. Can you believe it???

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Edema?

Today I switched up my walk just like I mentioned yesterday. I walked the figure 8 around the middle section. My thoughts about how much time it would add to my walk were way off. I finished in 27 minutes and according to my pedometer, I took 3072 steps which translated to 1.15 miles. Can you believe that? *I* walked over a mile. Wow. Actually, toward the end of my walk, I felt like I could do more and I just may have to do that tomrrow. I felt really good, not tired like I thought I might. I think the new shoes helped, much much less painful.

With the whole court thing last week and other crap messing up my routine, I've been noticing a few things. One thing that has me a little troubled is the swelling in my legs. I've had swelling in my legs before but usually it will resolve itself overnight. For about a week now, it hasn't gone away completely and by late in the day, my legs & feet feel tight, not totally swollen, but definitely tighter. I'm not sure what the culprit is exactly. It's not just in my legs, I kinda feel it all over, arms, hands, fingers, etc. I get plenty of water, typically between 120-150 oz on a good day, 80 oz on a bad day so I doubt that's it.

The two things I think it could be are (1) possibly too much sodium. I'm really trying to be careful and I don't think it's been out of control, but I'll watch it even more. (2) Not enough protein. I've often wondered about protein requirements for those of us who are, what I'd call, heavyweights. Basically, I'm wondering for those of us in the 400+ range, even 350+, if 80 grams as a minimum is enough. 80 grams of protein is a bare minimum for me, usually I have been in the 100-120 range, but I'm wondering if I should bump up to around 140 grams or so, especially since I've added exercise to my routine. I don't know. With a 50% malabsorption rate for protein, that's only 70 grams of effective protein which is much needed carrying around the weight I still carry.

Well, my experiment for the next week will be just that. I am going to eat normally, but just supplement another protein shake (23 additional grams) during the day. This way I can get the protein in without increasing my sodium intake. Hopefully that will solve my problem.

Anyway, I weighed in at 430.8 this morning. I know I am getting smaller, it's just that my body is hanging onto water for some reason. I am trying to look at this in a pragmatic manner so as to not freak out. ;)

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04 December 2006

No more cryin'

So I just got back home from the Dr.'s office. She was happy to hear how much weight I've lost. She took my blood pressure. Mixed results. Previously it was around 160/90. Today it was 140/70. A great improvement, but not normal just yet. I've only been walking for a couple of weeks so by the time my next appointment comes around, hopefully I will be in the normal range.

Remember how much fun I had the last time I had to have my blood drawn at the doctor's office? This time around a huge difference. No poking or digging around, just a straight shot and I was done in like a minute. Woo-hoo!

If nothing, else I am definitely grateful for the DS for that! :)

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Par-tay

I did my walk this morning in 27 degree windy weather. Yikes! At least it was sunny. Needless to say the wind and the cold cut right through me and I sped up my pace to compensate. I finished my usual 25 minute walk in 22! For the life of me, I can't figure out how far I am walking. I finally found some batteries for the pedometer I got last Christmas and after I guesstimated my stride at 2 feet, it said I walked .80 miles. My actual stride (after I measured) is actual just .5 inches off. So I am going to say that the path I am walking on is about 3/4 of a mile. Here is a picture:



You can see that there are three sections, almost like 3 concentric blobs. I start off near the northeast corner and transverse the entire perimeter. I may start doing a figure 8 kinda thing around the center egg.

I have an appointment with my PCP this morning. Labs will be drawn, hopefully all will be well. I suspect my iron will be low, but anticipate everything to be inline, but I will find out soon enough. I clocked in at 430.2 this morning. I went to the party yesterday which was pretty mellow. I had plenty of cheese, sausage and shrimp and I did have a few potato chips (5) and a spoonful or roasted potatoes, but I stayed away from everything else, chips & salsa, chocolate cake, trifle and other similar stuff. I definitely know that for me, I have to keep carbs really low. I even stuck to water the entire time although I definitely didn't get enough in for the day. It seems like I am clinging on to those last .2 lbs before I can say buh-bye to the 430's. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to, I've been in them for far too long.

I've taken to wearing my binder again. I don't know, I think there is something psychological going on with it. I don't hate it as much now and it makes me more mindful of what and how I eat/drink. I dunno. Considering I ditched it for three weeks before I was supposed, I guess I am just making up for it.

03 December 2006

K.I.S.S.

As soon as I went back to eating simple and clean and doing my walking in the morning, I promptly dropped 3 lbs. I weighed in at 430.2 lbs. What have I learned in the past 3 weeks?

1. Sugar, simple/white carbs are not my friends.
2. I need to exercise every day to get the results I want.
3. Be better prepared when the day strays from my normal routine.
4. Low sodium, low sodium, low sodium.

I had forays into white potatoes, pecan pie tarts, pasta and a couple of home fries sporadically in the last three weeks. Needless to say, each time caused a ruckus in my stomach and the gas/poop afterwards was simply not worth it. It's just not for me right now. I did buy some Dreamfields pasta and made some baked macaroni & cheese. I made it with Monterrey Jack cheese and 1 1/4 lb of ground beef and 1/2 a medium sized onion and a pint of heavy cream. I heavily boosted the protein & fat. I ate it as a couple of meals and it did give me gas although it didn't really affect my carb counts for the day. Only 5 grams per serving and between the two meals, I doubt I had a full serving. It was good, but the gas afterwards was a bit much so instead of treating as a full meal, I am going to treat it as a side dish. After it cooled in the fridge overnight, I cut it into 1 x 2 inch squares and froze them. That way I can have a square with my pot roast or with a hamburger (sans bun).

Anyway, I have a little party to go to today. BP and her fiance (BPF) are having a little party for BPF daughter's return. The kid's mom is foreign and had left with the daughter for an 8 week vacation at the end of May and was to return at the beginning of Aug. Homegirl decided otherwise and only recently returned because basically she was forced to, something about the Hague Convention or something. I really don't know. Anyway, BPF hadn't seen his daughter in 6 months until this past Monday and so is having a party in her honor so that everyone else who hasn't seen her in 6 months can welcome her back. They haven't heard back from the judge just yet so they don't know the final word on custody is yet.

After the party, I'm gonna stop on my way home and get some walking/running shoes. I need them semi-desperately. My feet aren't killing me yet, but why wait?

By the way, I noticed that my energy is near nil about 3/5 of the way through my walk and I'm wondering whether or not I should eat before I go. Usually I just get up in the morning, poop, weigh, get dressed and go walk, and when I get home, I immediately consume a protein shake (46 grams). Should I drink the shake beforehand? Maybe split the shake in two, one before, one after? What about fruit juice? Maybe 4-8 oz before hand? That's a lot of sugar, though.

Any suggestions?

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