Gurgling & Rumbling

Oh my stomach. I don't feel so good. Lately I haven't been feeling my best. I think the low iron issue is becoming more and more of an issue. For a period of time, I was practically dead to the world requiring 2 naps during waking hours just to get through the day. After awhile I could manage to stay away all day, no problem. Lately? Not so much. I'm usually up around 6:30-7:30 AM everyday and typically will have walked and had my first meal, first round of supplements and first poop by 10:30 AM. By 12:30 pm or 1:00 pm, I headed toward bed with a quickness. It's weird and it's not like I nap for two hours, 45-60 mins later and I'm typically good to go. I just got up from like an hour and 15 min nap and I could totally go back to bed. Luckily, I have my appointment with the hematologist on Monday and will start some kind of iron therapy then.

Coupled with this iron nonsense is a tempermental stomach. I've kept the spices down to a minimum for the past week, but everything is really going through me fast. I think it's that 2nd protein shake that's doing it. It certainly is better than having constipation, but my body is certainly taking it's time in adjusting. I feel a tad bit better today but when your stomach is doing cartwheels and you already feel a little weak/tired, it's hard to be at your best.

Good news is that I weighed in at 420.0 lbs this morning, right on the brink of saying buh-bye to the 420's. How freakin' insane is all of this? I'm a few days away from having lost 100 lbs. I can't even wrap my head around any of it. What does it really mean? In my day-to-day it's seeing the number on the scale get closer and closer to 200 or 175, but what does it mean in practical terms. What does it mean to me? Is it a big deal? Should I celebrate? I have no freakin' idea. On one hand it's like "One hundred pounds? Yeah, whatever, come see me when it's 200 or 300?" On the other hand it's like "Holy shit! I lost 100 lbs!!! I've never done that in all my living life, wooo-hoooo!!!"

You know, in all this time, all 3 1/2 months, I don't think I really truly believed the DS would work for me. I just didn't and now that I see that it might actually be working, I find myself having to re-evaluate my thinking. I remember early on in the process lamenting whether or not I could ever be skinny. After spending a lifetime of being anything but and not having any frame of reference for thinness, I just could not internalize what that could mean. I can certainly internalize and verbalize not wanting to be fat anymore, but that does not translate into really holding on to thinness. I have no idea what that's like and now the possibility is slowly, but surely, becoming a reality. I am losing weight and fast. As much as I like to proclaim that I don't see a lot of changes, the fact of the matter is I can't keep saying that for long. I look different to myself now and I sure as hell move different. I don't have to think twice about getting up from a chair, out of bed or off the sofa. The fact that my butt continues to hurt sitting in this chair is a testament to that fact.

Anyone who has NEVER been thin, knows what I mean and many of my fellow DSer's know this. It is a trip. So bear with me people. We've heard it a million times, they operate on our bodies, not our minds. Mine is still struggling to catch up. What will be really crazy is they say months 4-6 are when you really start looking different. Holy crap........... I can't wait.

One last thing, my girl Kim is having plastic surgery today. I'm sending up prayers and good vibes for a successful surgery and quick recovery. Also Deluzy is celebrating her one year anniversary today. Congratulations!