Really really real

So I guess it's official. I weighed in this morning at 397.6 lbs for a total loss of 119 lbs and I am about a week from my 5 month anniversary. I had to eat 200+ grams of protein to kick start the weight loss. Pretty crazy stuff. I left the 500's in Brazil and now I can say, with confidence, buh-bye to the 400's. It's all a little weird and I don't think I've fully wrapped my head around it. It was probably 2001 or 2002 that I was last under 400 lbs. It's funny cause I remember starting off that year at around 425-430 lbs or so and it took me til mid-summer, I believe to get down to around 370. That's 60 lbs in 7 months or so. Then in 4-5 years, I gained a whopping 150+ lbs. Craziness. I sometimes dig out my journals from that time and it's pretty sad reading, a chronology of failure. I'm so very thankful those days are long gone. I never had a problem with working hard at my diet and health, but it was the repeated failures and feelings of "it's just never going to happen for me" that killed most hope. I'm having a hard time articulating all this, but it's a different world for me, it really is and I really like it.

I didn't do any shopping this weekend. Yesterday, I got bogged down in some work emergencies and today ... well ... it's cold and rainy and I'd rather just snuggle on the couch, turn on the fireplace and listen to some Corinne Bailey Rae. I am, however, going to recruit somebody to go shopping with me (at some point) as I am a fashion moron. Why? Here's something you may not know, I've worn mostly men's clothes for God only knows how long. About 95% of my wardrobe is men's clothes, except for underwear, bras, slips, etc., 5 or so blouses, 3-4 skirts and a business suit and that's it. Everything else is jeans, khakis, t-shirts, a couple of sweaters and sweatpants. One big reason is of course, my size at the time, the other is that fact that I am tall, almost 6 feet and I can't tell you the number of times I've had shirts from like Lane Bryant that didn't even come to my belly button or long sleeve shirts that only came 3/4 of the way down my arm. Add to that my irrational impatience with trying on clothes and there you have it. I really do want to get past this issue as I do want to look better with what I wear so I'll be dragging someone with me.

Anyway, the couch and my iPod beckon me....