Eh?
I swear I woke up this morning down an entire dress size. Ever experience that? I put on my khakis this morning and was like "wait a minute....these don't feel familiar." They felt unusually baggy, I didn't feel that way a few days ago, the last time I had them on.
Yesterday as I was waiting in the doctor's exam room (freezing my ass off), my thumbs caught my attention. Totally random, I know, but I was like, these don't look like my thumbs. My thumbs look 1/2 way normal. Trippy.
Speaking of freezing, I am always cold, it's insane. We've had pretty high temps here in Atlanta and it hasn't phased me at all. At work, I regularly make trips to the restroom, even if I don't have to go, just so that I can wash my hands under hot water because they are always freezing.
This morning I am down to 331.2, down 0.2 lbs. Woo-hoo....Oh well, at least it hasn't gone up. I'm a little disappointed because I should have crossed the 200lbs loss mark by now and as it is now, I am 15+ lbs away. I can't help but think that this is it for me. I had thoughts of maybe losing 225-230 lbs my first year, but now I'm not sure I will hit 200. I had hopes of seeing 299 on the scale, maybe 290 by my one year anniversary, but I don't even know. The worst part is knowing that I still have at least another 100 lbs to lose and if I can't even manage to lose 5 lbs in a month what hope do I have of hitting my ultimate goal? I know, I know, this is all fatalist talk, but damn, I can't help it.
To get myself out of this funk, I bought myself some geeky goodness. I just acquired a new computer that has a lot of new bells and whistles which I have yet to put it into production, but I plan to do some of that in the next couple of weeks. I just splurged and ordered myself two 22" LCD monitors for my home office, I plan to run them in a dual monitor setup. They are so pretty. I am currently using a 19" LCD and have managed fine, but it's time for an upgrade to go along with my new box. I was very, VERY tempted to buy one of those 30" displays mostly for the kick-ass factor alone, but spending $1200+ is just a bit much, especially since I can get two 22" for half that AND if I am so inclined, I can spend that other $600 on goodies for my camera! I also bought a few more pedestrian things like 2 GBs of RAM and a monitor cable, so once all the stuff arrives, I will be in geeky heaven.
Since my core hobby of photography is picking up steam, hopefully next year I will be able to buy a Mac with one of them 30" displays. It all hinges on my ability to justify spending like $4000 for a computer and monitor coupled with my ability to hopefully start doing some photography work professionally. I am buying a friend's used set of studio equipment and will set up a spare room in my house as a learning studio of sorts.
In due time....
Yesterday as I was waiting in the doctor's exam room (freezing my ass off), my thumbs caught my attention. Totally random, I know, but I was like, these don't look like my thumbs. My thumbs look 1/2 way normal. Trippy.
Speaking of freezing, I am always cold, it's insane. We've had pretty high temps here in Atlanta and it hasn't phased me at all. At work, I regularly make trips to the restroom, even if I don't have to go, just so that I can wash my hands under hot water because they are always freezing.
This morning I am down to 331.2, down 0.2 lbs. Woo-hoo....Oh well, at least it hasn't gone up. I'm a little disappointed because I should have crossed the 200lbs loss mark by now and as it is now, I am 15+ lbs away. I can't help but think that this is it for me. I had thoughts of maybe losing 225-230 lbs my first year, but now I'm not sure I will hit 200. I had hopes of seeing 299 on the scale, maybe 290 by my one year anniversary, but I don't even know. The worst part is knowing that I still have at least another 100 lbs to lose and if I can't even manage to lose 5 lbs in a month what hope do I have of hitting my ultimate goal? I know, I know, this is all fatalist talk, but damn, I can't help it.
To get myself out of this funk, I bought myself some geeky goodness. I just acquired a new computer that has a lot of new bells and whistles which I have yet to put it into production, but I plan to do some of that in the next couple of weeks. I just splurged and ordered myself two 22" LCD monitors for my home office, I plan to run them in a dual monitor setup. They are so pretty. I am currently using a 19" LCD and have managed fine, but it's time for an upgrade to go along with my new box. I was very, VERY tempted to buy one of those 30" displays mostly for the kick-ass factor alone, but spending $1200+ is just a bit much, especially since I can get two 22" for half that AND if I am so inclined, I can spend that other $600 on goodies for my camera! I also bought a few more pedestrian things like 2 GBs of RAM and a monitor cable, so once all the stuff arrives, I will be in geeky heaven.
Since my core hobby of photography is picking up steam, hopefully next year I will be able to buy a Mac with one of them 30" displays. It all hinges on my ability to justify spending like $4000 for a computer and monitor coupled with my ability to hopefully start doing some photography work professionally. I am buying a friend's used set of studio equipment and will set up a spare room in my house as a learning studio of sorts.
In due time....
POSTED at
6/27/2007 03:03:00 PM
4 Comments:
Hey T - I'm just a random girl from Little Rock who stumbled across your blog and got hooked a while back. Just a question - remember when you were going for daily walks? I wonder if you stared that back up again if it would break your stall. I'm 26 with 2 kids and up to 217lbs. I am thinking about taking up some serious walking myself. Best of luck and thanks for sharing a glimpse of your life with us cyber-folks!
-Anjra
Hey T-
Your Geek fest has me frothing at the mouth. I love the geek stuff and no one here is appreciative.
My poop has been yellow a lot lately too. I am going to see Dr. Smith on the 11th and tell him about it.
Glad things are some better,
K
I am going to respond and know that you will post it back when I again make similar comments in my blog...lol.
You are so not done Tia. You "know" you're not, it's your emotions overriding your brain that's talking to you now.
You mention your goals in very concrete time and lbs increments... I know all common logic tells you that you need to be specific when you're setting goals but that does not count with weight. You can set goals around food intake, exercise, the colour of your under wear but you cannot in any fashion predetermine how your body will lose weight. You can not use your existing stats to forecast future loss because the baseline keeps changing. You are not the heavy person you were before. Your body is at a different weight loss point.
Don't set yourself for disappointment that you don't need to feel by setting parameters that your body may simply not be ready to meet. It has it's own goals... you need to let it do it's things.
You are do dedicated and doing all the right things... if any one is going to succeed it is you. Have faith in your DS... it will happen... you are giving it every chance of success ( you probably couldn't post this back to me because I suck at doing the right things...lol)
I'm sorry your head is making things tough for you - you may feel crappy but you continue to be an inspiration for me.
Enjoy the toys!
You're still losing. It might be a slow process but you're still getting a little closer to your goals every day! Don't get down on yourself, please.
Hey I'm really into photography as well. Are you on Flickr? If you're not you should be! And if you are add me as a contact www.flickr.com/photos/pinkhatphotography
Very cool about the used studio equipment. I'm dying for a MAC as well but we can't afford it :(
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