Twoterville...not too far away.

So I got my music going in the background and I start daydreaming while I'm sorting and folding mounds of clothes I haven't seen in two years and it occurs to me that I'm 19.8 lbs away from being under 300 lbs and I kid you not, I had a moment of panic. Does that make any kind of sense? I think ....*think* I was under 300 when I left for college in 1992, but I am not sure...I vaguely remember seeing 257 at the doctor's office the summer before I left for school. I don't know, it's just hard to imagine. I've been thinking a lot about goal weight (NOT when I hit goal weight, but the actual weight whenever that happens) and it's all very abstract to me. I say I want to be under 200 lbs but the reality of that is something I can't get my head around. I am having a difficult time accepting that I might actually be able to say I lost 200 lbs at some point in the (near?) future. I keep thinking about how I tell my mom when it actually happens "Guess what, mom? I LOST 200 POUNDS!!!" I don't feel like I lost nearly 200 lbs. My business partner is prone to ask me if I "feel better". I don't know...sometimes I want to choke her for asking me that all the time, but honestly, I feel about the same as I have the past 100 lbs. It's all incremental changes from here on out. I'm slowly shrinking and the only real reminder is the freakin scale and my clothes. It's difficult to step back three months and say X, Y and Z are so much more better/easier/more pleasant.

Let me just say, that I am ecstatic to be closing in on the number. No doubt. I came across the pictures I took with Dr. Marchesini and Kevin, my switch buddy, on the day of our post-surgery followup. I must have stared at that picture for five full minutes. I have a folder on my computer titled "Untold Horror" with the few, and I mean few, pictures of me taken during the past 3-4 years. There is one in particular that really pushed me over the edge. Anyway, the journey just trips me out sometimes and other times I forget that I look helluva lot different than I used to.

Here is my food for the day:

M1: Isopure (40g)
M2: 2 eggs, one sausage and 1 TB butter, scrambled (31g)
M3: Atkins granola bar (17g)
M4: Oscar Meyer Natural Beef Hot Dogs (24g)
M5: Atkins Double Crunch bar (11g)
M6: Smoked Ham (26g)
M7: Isopure RTD (40g)
M8: Homemade Chili (35g)

Grand Totals: 2816 cals, 184g fat, 69g carbs, 224g protein. I ditched the chicken, can't do it.

Gonna take my evening vits and watch Babel.