31 January 2007

Yesterday

For a good week, I was really dreading yesterday and I really didn't want to blog at all. I feared getting way too emotional. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my sister Monica's passing. I think a good deal of my anxiety from the past week, in fact, was due to dreading the day. When it finally came, I didn't feel the same devastation I felt a year ago and a big part of that is in remembering the kind of person Monica was. She would NOT have wanted that. She would have said in her classic sassy tone "Girl, please! Quit your cryin'" I talked to my sister, S, and she expressed the same thing. So I didn't cry for her yesterday, although there were a couple of moments when I certainly thought I might. Instead, I lived my life because that's what she would want. I really miss her and I am just thankful for the time we had together.

On a less depressing note, I went to my two "interviews" yesterday and they both went well. I didn't feel uncomfortable nor self conscious. I even walked up a flight of stairs and to my surprise was not winded at all. Woo-hoo! I am still doing my 2 miles in the morning and I just love how it has improved my overall conditioning. I got lost in a parking garage and instead of taking the elevators up and down, I just walked the ramps and I was fine. Hopefully I will hear something soon.

One thing I gotta get better about is my nutrition/water/supplements/exercise when/if I do find something. Walking in the morning is pretty much out unless I get up at some gawdawful hour, so at best, it'll have to be at lunchtime or after work. Nutrition will be tricky. I'm not sure I'd be about to do more than 4 meals a day if I needed to not to mention the fact that I might be eating at off times as compared to the rest of the folks. Supplements shouldn't be too bad though and water will require much more conscious effort for sure. I guess I will figure out when I need to.

It was freezing again this morning AND windy. Ugh. Not fun, but by the time I hit mile 1, the wind had at least died down. We are supposed to be getting freezing rain/sleet tonight into the morning tomorrow so I'm not crazy enough to think I wanna be walking in that crap. If I am lucky, maybe it will have cleared up by early afternoon. I guess I'll just keep my eye on the weather to see how it goes.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister -- and what a lovely way to pay tribute to her in living your life as fully as possible.

January 31, 2007 at 5:59 PM  

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