I HEART support group!

As usual, support group was awesome. I love my support group, totally kick ass and such a necessity for me, I always get such an emotional and spiritual lift that it's become an integral part of this journey. I talked to the nutritionist about my issues as of late, specifically about the ulcer and protein requirements. She doesn't seem to think that I would need to do anything drastic. I was too afraid to tell her how many grams of protein I had been eating because last time she was close to reading me the riot act. My weight has been ridiculous this whole month, wavering between 309.2 all the way up to 314.6 lbs. Today I weighed in at 312.2 lbs. Sigh. Totally sucks, but I have to admit to not being very good or consistent about my diet and water. In fact, there have been days where I've flat out sucked which is honestly pretty rare for me, I'm typically pretty good and if I do indulge it's usually one thing and I'm done, but such has not been the case as of late, really since the beginning of the month. Ugh, I confess, I've been a poor DSer. Sometimes best intentions don't translate into best actions.

Having said all that, the last two days have been good. My only issues are trying to determine how much protein/calories I need to be getting...driving me crazy. I don't like having to eat 2800+ calories and 200-220 grams of protein, it sucks and it's hard and my gut tells me it's unnecessary. I am anxiously awaiting my lab results to tell me otherwise. I am still retaining water OR it could just be that I am finally well hydrated. Regardless, the next few days will be hard to stay on track seeing as how I hear there is a lot of good food in Savannah, but I am going to do it and hopefully by the time I get back, I will be on the track to losing weight again. I still have a good 60 to as many as 110-120 lbs to go and I want to be done by this time next year. I want to be normal, not "normal for someone who started off at 516 lbs" but normal "normal". I want to lose as much excess fat as possible. I want to surpass Dr. Marchesini's goal for me (250lbs). When I walk into my first plastic surgery consult, I want the doctor to say "well done, you've lost all the excess weight and you are in the best possible shape for plastic surgery." I need to like plaster my house with giant plaques that read "STAY THE COURSE" so that I won't be tempted to stray. Like I mentioned before, this is the hard section of this journey, the boring, tedious middle. Must find more ways to self-motivate!

Anyway, I have to pick up a few things before I hit the road so off I go!