07 February 2007

Hired!

I can't believe I actually did it, but I accepted an offer to work a contract position for 6 months. Good God Almighty! I honestly hadn't planned on accepting anything til this upcoming weekend, but it was one of those "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse" kind of things and I couldn't turn it down. The company is world reknown and a great place to work (got a couple of friends already there), the work sounds very interesting/challenging/fun and the money is freaking awesome. I should be starting in about a week and half and you know what that means. I have to go shopping for sure. Ugh.

So the weight has not been coming off. Yesterday I had this sharp pain in my left upper quadrant, just below my ribcage. Friggin' hurt, but only for a couple of hours. Could be a bile duct issue or possibly pancreatitis. From what I've read online, it's possibly due to the increased amounts of fat I have been eating. Understandable as I no longer have a gall bladder, a pain in the arse regardless. Today I feel fine and will certainly bring this up with my doc at my 6 month appt.

Food-wise, I'm trying to keep things simple, so my ambitions of getting over 2000 calories today are shot to hell. No way that's going to happen. All this is quite frustrating. I'm a few days away from going an entire month without losing much of anything. Intellectually I know it's water weight (it better be - I don't think I can handle it if not), but emotionally, it's driving me nuts. January 7th, I weighed in at 405.2, today, 401.8. I keep losing and gaining the same !@#$-ing 5 lbs. I emailed Dr. Marchesini about all this and he said to cut out fatty foods, have my pre-albumin and creatinine checked at my next labs and that's what I will do. I'm just bummed out. I hate not knowing what's wrong and not knowing how to fix it. I tried increasing fat, decreasing fat, increasing my water, decreasing my water, exercising more, exercising less, eating more calories, eating the same thing consistently, I even went off a plan a few days thinking that maybe a radical change would cause some kind of shock to my system. Nothing worked. What I'm getting at without really getting at is that I am thisclose to really feeling like this is as good as it gets. What if my DS is broken? What if I broke my DS? I feel like such a baby typing all of this, but damnit, I can't help it. What if I stretched my stomach or something crazy like that. Then I have these thoughts about my common channel. What if it is working too effectively and I'm in starvation mode and I don't even know it. What if I have to eat crazy calories and I don't know it? You see how easily this can get ridiculous. Every now and then I catch myself saying "please God don't let this be as good as it gets". Pretty melodramatic, right?

Anyway, all I can do is work my plan and consult with the doc on the 26th, but if anybody has any ideas, I'm listenin'.

Labels: , ,

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! :)

As to breaking it, I understand the fear, but you haven't. Just be patient (easier said than done) and good things will come.

FWIW, I had occasional pain in my lower right quad for months post-op. It was because that's the side where my muscles were most retracted during surgery and they took a long time to heal up.

You're doing so well. But I do honestly understand how bouncing weight wise can drive ya nuts.

February 7, 2007 at 8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had month-long "stalls." It's SO much about your body adjusting to major changes of the past several months and so NOT about your DS being broken. I *promise*! We've all had such dreadful experiences with weight loss or maintaining weight loss in the past that we don't trust ourselves or our bodies anymore -- I totally get that. Hang in there -- you're being really responsible and as near as I can tell, a model DS patient. It's justworking in the background, kind of like a computer program right now.

Congratulations on the decision, the job, and the bucks! Go shop, girl. ;)

February 7, 2007 at 8:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to echo deluzy and ezpy on this - I too keep losing the same frikkin' 5 lbs and it just seems so grossly unfair. Hang in there and it will resolve for both of us!

*S*

February 9, 2007 at 6:43 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home