Hired!
I can't believe I actually did it, but I accepted an offer to work a contract position for 6 months. Good God Almighty! I honestly hadn't planned on accepting anything til this upcoming weekend, but it was one of those "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse" kind of things and I couldn't turn it down. The company is world reknown and a great place to work (got a couple of friends already there), the work sounds very interesting/challenging/fun and the money is freaking awesome. I should be starting in about a week and half and you know what that means. I have to go shopping for sure. Ugh.
So the weight has not been coming off. Yesterday I had this sharp pain in my left upper quadrant, just below my ribcage. Friggin' hurt, but only for a couple of hours. Could be a bile duct issue or possibly pancreatitis. From what I've read online, it's possibly due to the increased amounts of fat I have been eating. Understandable as I no longer have a gall bladder, a pain in the arse regardless. Today I feel fine and will certainly bring this up with my doc at my 6 month appt.
Food-wise, I'm trying to keep things simple, so my ambitions of getting over 2000 calories today are shot to hell. No way that's going to happen. All this is quite frustrating. I'm a few days away from going an entire month without losing much of anything. Intellectually I know it's water weight (it better be - I don't think I can handle it if not), but emotionally, it's driving me nuts. January 7th, I weighed in at 405.2, today, 401.8. I keep losing and gaining the same !@#$-ing 5 lbs. I emailed Dr. Marchesini about all this and he said to cut out fatty foods, have my pre-albumin and creatinine checked at my next labs and that's what I will do. I'm just bummed out. I hate not knowing what's wrong and not knowing how to fix it. I tried increasing fat, decreasing fat, increasing my water, decreasing my water, exercising more, exercising less, eating more calories, eating the same thing consistently, I even went off a plan a few days thinking that maybe a radical change would cause some kind of shock to my system. Nothing worked. What I'm getting at without really getting at is that I am thisclose to really feeling like this is as good as it gets. What if my DS is broken? What if I broke my DS? I feel like such a baby typing all of this, but damnit, I can't help it. What if I stretched my stomach or something crazy like that. Then I have these thoughts about my common channel. What if it is working too effectively and I'm in starvation mode and I don't even know it. What if I have to eat crazy calories and I don't know it? You see how easily this can get ridiculous. Every now and then I catch myself saying "please God don't let this be as good as it gets". Pretty melodramatic, right?
Anyway, all I can do is work my plan and consult with the doc on the 26th, but if anybody has any ideas, I'm listenin'.
So the weight has not been coming off. Yesterday I had this sharp pain in my left upper quadrant, just below my ribcage. Friggin' hurt, but only for a couple of hours. Could be a bile duct issue or possibly pancreatitis. From what I've read online, it's possibly due to the increased amounts of fat I have been eating. Understandable as I no longer have a gall bladder, a pain in the arse regardless. Today I feel fine and will certainly bring this up with my doc at my 6 month appt.
Food-wise, I'm trying to keep things simple, so my ambitions of getting over 2000 calories today are shot to hell. No way that's going to happen. All this is quite frustrating. I'm a few days away from going an entire month without losing much of anything. Intellectually I know it's water weight (it better be - I don't think I can handle it if not), but emotionally, it's driving me nuts. January 7th, I weighed in at 405.2, today, 401.8. I keep losing and gaining the same !@#$-ing 5 lbs. I emailed Dr. Marchesini about all this and he said to cut out fatty foods, have my pre-albumin and creatinine checked at my next labs and that's what I will do. I'm just bummed out. I hate not knowing what's wrong and not knowing how to fix it. I tried increasing fat, decreasing fat, increasing my water, decreasing my water, exercising more, exercising less, eating more calories, eating the same thing consistently, I even went off a plan a few days thinking that maybe a radical change would cause some kind of shock to my system. Nothing worked. What I'm getting at without really getting at is that I am thisclose to really feeling like this is as good as it gets. What if my DS is broken? What if I broke my DS? I feel like such a baby typing all of this, but damnit, I can't help it. What if I stretched my stomach or something crazy like that. Then I have these thoughts about my common channel. What if it is working too effectively and I'm in starvation mode and I don't even know it. What if I have to eat crazy calories and I don't know it? You see how easily this can get ridiculous. Every now and then I catch myself saying "please God don't let this be as good as it gets". Pretty melodramatic, right?
Anyway, all I can do is work my plan and consult with the doc on the 26th, but if anybody has any ideas, I'm listenin'.
POSTED at
2/07/2007 04:50:00 PM
3 Comments:
Congratulations! :)
As to breaking it, I understand the fear, but you haven't. Just be patient (easier said than done) and good things will come.
FWIW, I had occasional pain in my lower right quad for months post-op. It was because that's the side where my muscles were most retracted during surgery and they took a long time to heal up.
You're doing so well. But I do honestly understand how bouncing weight wise can drive ya nuts.
I had month-long "stalls." It's SO much about your body adjusting to major changes of the past several months and so NOT about your DS being broken. I *promise*! We've all had such dreadful experiences with weight loss or maintaining weight loss in the past that we don't trust ourselves or our bodies anymore -- I totally get that. Hang in there -- you're being really responsible and as near as I can tell, a model DS patient. It's justworking in the background, kind of like a computer program right now.
Congratulations on the decision, the job, and the bucks! Go shop, girl. ;)
I want to echo deluzy and ezpy on this - I too keep losing the same frikkin' 5 lbs and it just seems so grossly unfair. Hang in there and it will resolve for both of us!
*S*
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