The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

The Good:

Support Group meeting last night was awesome, as usual and I guess the word is getting out as the Thursday night meetings are getting fuller and fuller which is great! This meeting we have several of our success stories, including m'girl Kim, give short talks about their own personal stories and journeys. It was really good, especially for people like me, newbies and pre-ops because we get to see what the end of the tunnel looks like. I will probably start going to the Tuesday or Saturday morning one as well. I weighed in this morning at 313.8 lbs. Woo-hoo!

The whole lunch thing with my business partner and the girl from the other company was much ado about nothing. She wants to leave her company and join ours. She has to be at least the 7th or 8th person from that company that has attempted to do so.

Kim, Nick and I are committed to running a 10K race on Labor Day and I'm going tomorrow to find someplace to get some good running/walking shoes and at least a couple pairs of good exercise shorts. I am pretty sure I can walk the whole thing and I may entertain thought of breaking out into small short jogs every now and again...downhill. I'm pretty excited about that and I am going to do my research today and see if I can come up with a strategy for training for the next 6 weeks.

The Bad:

Usually after the support group meeting a lot of us hang around and chit chat until the building security kicks us out and we move our socializing to the parking lot. So we're out there talking, people are slowly leaving and it's just me and Kim and our friend Nick. We are usually the last ones to leave. So we're standing out there by Kim's car and we're talking and I start feeling a little warm and start getting a little woozy so I know that I need to cut things short. I tell them I gotta go and I start walking to my car and I am feeling like I can barely make it! I get to my car and I start looking for my keys and at some point, I feel the darkness come on and I just hold on to my car. Luckily Nick and Kim see this and next thing I know, I'm sitting in Kim's car eating a protein bar and drinking water. I hear them speaking to me and in my mind I feel like I am thinking rationally, but I can't get the words out. After 10-15 minutes, 8 oz of water and 2 protein bars, I feel back to normal and am okay to go home with a promise to pick up some food on the way home and to call Kim to let her know I made it back in one piece.

The Ugly:

So after assuring them both, I stand up out of her car and that's when I realize I will be needing to take a long hot shower and do a load of laundry when I get home. I guess at some point, the poop came out. That's so freakin' gross, but it happened. I read a few tales about the exact same thing happening to a few other DSers and I guess it was my turn. Luckily I only pooped my undergarments and not my car or Kim's car. I have never passed out before in my life (or ever gotten close) and I am left feeling a little worried, a little embarassed, a bit scared and completely fascinated by the whole experience. I couldn't even sleep all that great last night and it preoccupies my thoughts this morning.

Lessons Learned:

I kept thinking about all things that transpired that day that contributed to this episode and of course, like the overanalytica maniac that I have come up with the following things that did or did not happen and signs that I ignored or didn't give them their just due.

1. I said this a few times before but one of my biggest challenges is trying to keep up with nutrition/supplements/water when I have to go outside of my daily routine. Lately I have been eating 7-9 times a day every hour and a half or so. I knew that I'd be home at around 5:00 so I had planned to get home, eat a bowl of chili and take 2 protein bars with me since odds were that I would not be home til after 9:00 PM. So I did that, I ate my bowl of chili and took the bars with me, what I didn't do was eat the dang things during the meeting. I usually sit in the back but the meeting was so crowded, I sat in the front and felt subconscious about eating so I didn't.

I should have eaten both bars and not worried about it, in fact, I should have brought more substantial nutrition.

2. At one point toward the end of the meeting, I got that familiar gurgling in my stomach signaling that I need to probably poop. I ignored it because I was caught up in conversation with a couple of folks and figured I could hold it til I got home.

I should have pooped when I first got the hint to.

3. Since I do typically sit in the back, I'm pretty close to the cooler so I usually drink one bottle of Crystal Light and a water. Since I was in the front, I only had a small 8 oz bottle of water and I had only drank four ounces. It was also unusually warm in there, I typically have to wear a sweater, it's so cold, but not tonight. I was dehydrated and hadn't had enough fluid.

I should have drank more, in fact, I should have brought my 32 oz water bottle with me and I should from now on.

I had the Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch and I weigh 200 lbs lighter. Despite what I may sometimes think, I am not the same person I was 11 months ago and need to be more mindful of that. It was made abundantly clear to me yesterday that I am more "fragile" (although I don't like that description), if you will, than my previous self. I have to be compliant and vigilant not just because I want to lose weight faster, but because my health and well-being require it.

I tell ya, I learned my freaking lesson(s). I don't want to go through that again. This morning I feel fine and you bet your butt, I am not going to let anything interfere with me getting my food & water in again.