Yawnfest 2007

I've been dreading broaching this subject just because what I think I want is not what I know a lot of people don't want to hear from me... I don't ...really ... like ... my job ... that much anymore. It's in the city, the location is great, I've some cool people, it's nice to be out and about, but out of the 40 hours in any given week, I am doing actual work for maybe 8-10which means the majority of my time is spent doing not zip, zero... nada. I am bored and I HATE being bored. Believe you me, I have tried all kinds of stuff, from asking my supervisors to walking around to see if anyone needs help, from reading the company intranet I don't know how many times to just sitting there trying not to spend too much time surfin' the net. I'm not sure what to do and the powers that be don't seem to be concerned at all. The nature of my job is feast or famine, but good grief, I don't see it changing anytime soon and I don't know if I want to keep doing this. As luck would have it, things with my business are getting more interesting...I haven't been full time with it since February and had always looked at the time away as just a break and maybe not something fulltime. I don't know, there are pros and cons to either situation. New job is in town, lots of folks my same age, education and experience, but the commute sucks, the work is boring and I don't necessarily see myself learning much of anything any time soon. My business is challenging at times, I get to work from home and my time is my own (if I want to work from 4pm to midnight, I can), but BP gets on my nerves a lot, I wouldn't be taking home as much money and ... it can be isolating. I'm not sure what to do. The whole "my time is my own" thing is quite compelling for me, turns out my friend is getting married and Barbados and my best friend and I are planning on making it a week long vacation, then there's the trip to Savannah in August, my alma mater in September, St. Louis in November and home to Texas for Christmas. I am going to sleep on it for a couple of weeks and make a decision.

Tomorrow I have my appointment with the gastroenterologist. Things seem to be normal for the past couple of weeks although since yesterday, I've noticed my poop has been a medium grey color and I have been having a little stomach discomfort so I will bring that up. I have the hiccups and it feels like my food is stuck at the top of my stomach, almost like a good strong hiccup will bring it all up.... I also sometimes get a little lightheaded if I get up real quick, but that could mean I should visit my PCP in regard to my blood pressure meds, it may be time to get off them completely. Ugh. I am bringing all my medical info from the past year with me so that he will be well-informed. If I had a "before" picture, I'd bring it with me. I will let y'all know how it goes.

I weighed in at 310.8 lbs this morning so the steady loss continues. Woo-hoo! Incremental progress ... that's all I ever wanted!