Progress is good

So I guess I'm in one of those moods where I am going over what I am eating and trying to improve or rather trying to identify some areas of concern, address them and look at some possible solutions. One of my biggest struggles is with my sweet tooth, I think it's genetic, because my mom is the same way. I've mitigated it mostly by a combination of opting for sugar substitutes and outright abstinence, but I don't feel like I am being as successful as I can. I would love to be one of the people where moderation works well for them, but I just ain't it. Usually it 100% or 0%. The biggest sugar hurdle I conquered some time ago was with sugary beverages - sodas, drinks, etc. I just don't do them anymore, it's almost habit now, but what makes it such an easy habit is that it is really easy to find alternatives for full sugar drinks. Such is not the case for everything.

My biggest cravings usually have to deal with pastries and baked goods. It seems like I can be fine for days on end, but then I get hit with intense cravings for something sweet & buttery or something rich & chocolatey. It's like an overwhelming urge that is hard to just ignore and let pass, especially this time of year. I'm really worried about becoming complacent and letting the next few months slip away, I've done that the past two years, I don't want to do that now. I am doing really well right now because I've settled into a routine, the problem areas seem to pop up over the weekends where my time isn't as structured. I'll have to think about that some more and come up with something. I've made it a point to get out and go run or play tennis on the weekends to make sure that even if I do eat crappy, I can burn a good chunk of it off.

With Halloween coming up and freakin' candy everywhere, I think I've found a solution that will really help me in those moments where I feel like I want to swallow bite-size chocolate bars by the handful. I was at the grocery store today and saw South Beach Living Dark Chocolate Covered Soynuts Snack Pack Delights. I picked them up and have since tried them out. I dig 'em. They're chocolately and candy-like. So awesome. I am going to keep them at work because that is where the temptations are so if I just can't resist, I have a backup plan.

I've been almost completely gluten free for almost two weeks. I haven't had any low carb tortillas or bread, nor any low carb pasta. Cheese is still in my diet, but in much lower quantities. Lately it's mostly been in Alfredo sauce, one of my favorite dishes at the moment is to make chicken thighs, slice them up, cook them in some butter, onions, garlic powder, salt & pepper. Then I'll have my five containers for lunch for the week and then I'll put 1/2 a can of french style green beans in each one. Then I'll add around 1-2 tablespoons of Alfredo sauce and 1/5 of the chicken. At work, I'll nuke it all, stir and enjoy. Yum! I like eating real food for lunch at work and this makes it easy to knock out lunch for the week and it's damn delicious. The only other cheese I'll have is a slice for my lettuce wrap for breakfast. I don't have time to cook in the morning so I usually just have a shake before I leave and I actually pack my breakfast. Lately it's been lettuce wraps, a variety of 3-4 lunch meats, a slice of cheese, some pickle slices and a dab of mustard tucked in a romaine lettuce leaf. Not your typical breakfast food fair, but works for me.

I'm back down to 2 protein shakes a day with no signs of edema, so that's good, although I do sometimes get hollow leg syndrome and feel like there is not enough food in the world. It's weird because I usually have to wait at least an hour or more between feedings, but sometimes it feels like I could eat again after 15 minutes. I feel like that way now. Part of that is because I went running today and nearly ran 1/2 a mile non-stop, then did the same for two 1/4 mile intervals. I've never done that before so I was sweating big time by the time I finished. By the time I got home (after the grocery store) I was feeling seriously depleted, even a couple of hours afterwards, so I've been eating & drinking water like crazy.

Had a late lunch with some friends, so that was fun and then came home and took a nap. It's laundry time right now so I'm chilling and getting mentally prepared for the week. It might be a doozy. I have to pick up a few technical skills over the next few weeks so I'll have to keep my ADD in check. Tennis drills tomorrow night and I plan to be more prepared than last time. My energy stores tend to bonk around an hour so I gotta find something that I can digest mid-drills that'll prevent me from being sluggish.

I just tried on a size 14 skirt...and it fit. :)

Run, Tia, run!

So I saw my photos from the US 10K Classic and they crack me up! I don't know why they do, but they do...I guess I still don't see myself like that completely. It's weird.

Apparently, while I thought I wasn't losing weight and not dropping any sizes, I apparently did and it's funny because it seems like it happened overnight. My large size t-shirts are on the verge of being a little too loose, my old XL's are now nightshirts and look silly if I even dare wear them in public. My size 18 pants are getting baggy and the 16's are thisclose to being perfect. The only thing I am struggling with is with the excess skin on my thighs, especially between my thighs, they are giving me a weird gait, I can't walk like how I want to because I have so much flab interference.

The impossible has happened. I want to run a better 10K, the running bug has bit. I'm slightly annoyed because I tell myself that I do not like running, but here's the thing, I can run further and much easier than I thought. I like that. A friend is going to run the ING half marathon next year, now I know I ain't doing that, but my goal is to actually run, not walk, a 5K at some point and then run, not walk, a 10K. When I can do the 5K successfully, then I will commit to doing the half marathon, even if I walk 1/2 of it. The big thing is that I need to drop more weight which is what I am focusing on hard core the rest of the year, probably the next 6 months.

Tennis wise, I am attending Monday night drills and have 1/2 hour lessons with my tennis instructor every week. Joining a team is the next big thing, but I want to get better before that happens. That's what I am focusing on the exercise front for now and I think that will keep me busy for awhile.

I haven't weighed this weekend because of the big C, no need to aggravate myself for no reason, as long as I am on track, all will be good.

I rock.

Got back from the US 10K Classic about two and a half hours ago. It was awesome, mostly because of the weather - overcast and breezy! Perfection! I can't believe I am actually typing these words, but I felt totally fine afterwards, in fact - brace yourselves - I actually ran the last 200 yards! I actually ran across the finish line! I'm not sure what my time was, I think in the 1:55 range which is about 35 minutes faster than last year. I would have liked to have done better, but the hills on this course are killer so I'm happy. Most importantly, I was nowhere near last! I was paranoid for a second that I might be, but there were several hundred people behind me by the time I finished.

This is the first time, in God only knows how long, that I felt like I was more fit than I thought I was, I mean, I was passing people going up the hills, people who were much smaller than me! Craziness! The last two races, I was definitely spent by the end, but not this time. I carb loaded yesterday and tried to be smart about things this morning. I think it worked because I wasn't totally exhausted. It was kinda cool.

The only downside is the after effects of carb loading... ugh. My innards are NOT happy with me right now. Thankfully they have the rest of the day to toss and turn and hopefully will have settled down by tomorrow AM. Right now, I'm supposed to be "working" but me thinks it's nap time...I did get up at 4:30 this morning!

Woo-hoo!

Weighed in at 237.2 lbs this morning! Down another 2.6 lbs. Total loss of 279.4 lbs.

Tomorrow is the US 10K Classic and I just got back from picking up my number. I'm going to carb up today, but I don't really want to since the weight is coming off nicely. I will and get right back on track after the race. I'll be honest, I do not like this race, 99% of that opinion comes from my previous experience, but I was talking to a guy who organizes races across Georgia and he doesn't like it either. He said it was a tough race and there is no shade along the way and he's right. I think that is one of the reasons why I liked the Peachtree so much better, parts of it were shaded and there were a ton more water sprays. This one is all out in the blazing sun. Ugh. Anyway, I will do it and get my qualifier for the Peachtree and be done with it. I just want to, again, not be last, and finish under 1:45.

I'm thinking that I will only weigh on the weekends since they are the only time I can really clear my plumbing before I step on the scale, it just doesn't happen during the week because I still have my 7:00-7:30 AM poop and I'm at work by then. We'll see how weekly weigh-ins work and we'll see if I can actually stick to it. :)

Random thought: I'm still not used to people just randomly talking to me out of the blue. I was standing in line for my number and a guy just started chit-chatting with me. He completely surprised me. That never happened when I was 500+ lbs. It's funny how invisible I felt when I was that big.

One step after the next...

I know I don't look it, but I'm prety ecstatic in this photo:

After all the back and forth, I decided to go ahead and run the Peachtree Road Race 10K yesterday and I'm so glad I did. The emotional ups and down from the previous couple of days were taking their toll and this was just thing that could allow me to push all that crap out of my head and focus on a very difficult physical challenge. In short, it was just one of those things I needed to do and I'm so very glad I did. I don't like to brag, but I totally kicked ass! That's a completely relative statement, but goshdarnit, I rocked! My previous 10K, I ran in 2 hours and 30 minutes and came in an unremarkable next to last. This time, I shaved about 45 minutes off my time and finished in about an hour and 45 minutes AND I was NOT last, not by any stretch of the imagination! How awesome is that?! I felt really good this race, I had my iPod and pretty much jammed the whole way through. The race itself was amazing, it's hard to describe the thrill of running (walking) with 55,000 other folks not to mention the thousands of folks who lined up and down the streets, cheering for you. It was invigorating and I will most likely do this particular race again, it was a complete 180° than the first one I did. Post-race I was a little whoozy and having to walk like another 1/2 mile between picking up t-shirts and getting to the Marta station was almost too much, but I made it home in one piece! Woo-hoo!

Y'know the big thing I had to do, well, I did it, it was not easy and frankly one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but it was something I most definitely needed to do. I certainly don't regret it and a residual effect of doing it has opened some other folks' eyes as well. I can't really go into it right now, maybe at some other time. It was a good thing and although it isn't completely resolved right now, it will be shortly.

Gag

Here's a tip...when you see protein bars in the bargain bin for 59¢, know that they are there for a reason. Do not ever think they might taste okay, because they DO NOT. Blech! So, it's freakin' beautiful here in Atlanta so I went out and ran and then hit some tennis balls on the hand ball courts for 1/2 an hour. Afterwards, I feeling a little lightheaded so I ventured off to the nearby GNC because I had to pick up some probiotics and wanted to pick up some Isopure Zero Carb RTD's because I gotta push the protein pretty hard the next couple of days. Anyway, right by the counter in a cute little basket are these protein bars for 59¢ so I figure, what the hell, I buy a couple and scarf one down so I won't pass out. Big mistake. Let me ask you a question, your mouth isn't supposed to TINGLE and feel NUMB when you eat a protein bar, is it? Christ Almighty, never again!

TMI-time. I spent a good portion of my night last night pooping foamy poop. Good times. And of course when I get on the scale this morning it reads, 271.0 lbs. WTF?!? I ain't panicking just yet, I want to get in 4-5 days of high protein, low carbs before I start freakin' out. I have to say though, the nice weather works wonders for my mood and overall mental health! During the day, I am no longer freezing! Woo-hoo!

Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.

I have found the secret to DS success -- switch things up! From here on out, I am going to eat higher calories/protein for 7-10 days (2800+ calories, 240+ grams protein) then change to lower calories/protein for 7-10 days (2000 calories, 150 grams protein). This seems to be the way to go for me. The few days I've been eating more, hunger hit me like a ton of bricks, and I've finally started losing weight again....down to 256.2 lbs this morning with a grand total loss of 260.4 lbs! Slowly, but surely.

Support Group last night was pretty good, the speaker was boring, but it was fun to see all my DS and WLS homies, always a pleasure. A few of us will be running the Peachtree Road Race in July so that leaves us like 3.5 months to train. Speaking of, I check my bank account today and the PTRR committee has already cashed my check, translation -- I'M IN!!!! Woo-hoo!!! That race is going to kick my ass, but I am going to try my best. I've been slacking on the running lately, opting instead to focus on tennis which I enjoy 100 times more. Running sucks and it's hard, I'm happy that I can physically run, but it's not fun ... at all ... not even a little bit. Oh well, after July 4th, I'm probably done with running although I may do the same 10K in September that I did last year, just to improve on my abysmal results of coming in next to last! My big focus is joining my first tennis team sometime this summer and I have a LONG way to go before that...I haven't even learned how to serve yet!

Tonight is my company's anniversary dinner/party and I've decided to write a little speech. I know I bitch and moan about the business a lot, but besides the DS (and post-op life), it's by far the most difficult thing I've ever done. I'm proud of my company and how far we've come. It's so easy to get lost in the minutiae and to see the forest for the trees and all that. We focus so much on making things better, focusing on and picking apart all the things we are doing right, we forget and often fail to acknowledge all the things we are doing great! My speech will focus on that.

Anywho, I'm going to run to Marshall's and/or Kohl's to try to find something to wear. God help me!

Stupid Tornado.....

So we had some crazy weather Friday night through Saturday in Atlanta! Friday night, a tornado actually touched down in downtown Atlanta, passing over the CNN Center, the Georgia Dome and Philips Arena which are all within a block or so of each other. Luckily there were no serious injuries, but from what little I could see from news footage, the damage was fairly severe. Then it started all up again Saturday. Early in the morning some strong storms passed through around 6:00 AM in my area and woke me up, but they weren't strong enough to get me out of bed. Saturday afternoon, different story. I was on Skype with my business partner talking about a problem employee. She has a TV on in her office, I don't. She makes a remark about impending storms so I check out the weather online and see a very ominous looking line of storms heading our way. This is just before noon. Long story, short. I spent the next two hours running between the living room so that I could watch how close the TORNADOES were to me and cowering in the bathtub with a giant pillow over my head on the phone with BP trying not to cry. Looking at the images on the TV screen, it looked like certain death was headed my way. I was really, really scared. BP lives right in the middle of the two major lines of storms/tornadoes so all she got was a little heavy rain. I got strong winds, heavy rain and hail. Truly frightening. Y'know it's never a good thing when you hear the freakin' tornado sirens go off in your neighborhood. Some areas got hit really hard and Thank God it completely passed me.

Onto more happy things... the applications for the 2008 Peachtree Road Race came out today and I'm so excited! I've been waiting for this for weeks! What they do is they put the application in the Sunday edition of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution every year which begins the mad dash to yours in because they only accept the first 45,000 apps and choose another 10,000 from the remaining ones. Yes, it is a BIG deal. I was up early this morning and got two papers, one for me and one for a friend in Alabama. I ain't trying to play around so I already filled mine out and put them in the mail. It's less than four months away so I really gotta buckle down with my training. It's going to be awesome!!!

Got a tennis lesson today and that's pretty much it. Weight this morning is 258.2 lbs. Ugh. Still battling the Big C and making little progress. I may need to cut down on cheese as that seems to be a binder, I can't cut calcium, that's not an option. Anyway, time to go eat and maybe get a little work done before I head out!